Effler Blog

ARE YOU COOKED?

2011-07-20T10:41:00.006-04:00

A pressure cooker (not a crock pot) is a relatively old technology that allows certain foods to cook in less time than required by conventional methods. A pressure cooker is placed over heat and the content within the pressure cooker, cooks. The higher pressure created by the technology of the pressure cooker drastically reduces cooking time and the steam created serves to tenderize the ingredients. The image of a pressure cooker conjures up a life analogy for me. Using the simple description of a pressure cooker, people like to ‘speed things up’ (especially distasteful things) by using unconventional methods (short cuts?). The pressure cooker (your and my life), is exposed to heat (challenges, choices, decisions) and the content of our lives can get ‘cooked’. Pressure cooking does in fact “drastically reduce the cooking time and can tenderize the ingredients” (our lives).

Many technologies utilize the concept of pressure to help delivering their product. “Pressure sensors” (trusted friends) in a variety of industries are used to indicate when there is an unsafe boiling point (listen to them!); in the automotive arena the tires on our cars have ‘pressure caps’ (boundaries) that prevent a loss of air (if not ‘capped’ can result in decreased MPG); the construction industry uses ‘pressure treated wood’ (experience) to insure a greater longevity to wood that is exposed to the elements; the health industry uses ‘pressure bandages’ (healing agents, counselors) to control bleeding, minimize swelling, provide support for a broken limb and absorb fluids.

Four thoughts:

1. Pressure cooker seasons of life happen--Stop whining.

2. The 'Chief Cook' has used lesser heat in your life but you ignored the heat--Trust God.

3. If you cooperate with God you will reduce your 'cooking time'--Be Thankful.

4. The result of a pressurized season is a tenderized life--Be ready to encourage those 'being cooked'.

WHEN A GUY SAYS...

2011-07-18T11:14:00.005-04:00

“How would you like to go out for dinner” means, “Are we having that, again?”

“In a minute” means, A preposterous exaggeration.

“What’s wrong?” means, “Why are you making such a big deal about this?”

“It’s a guy thing” means, “I have absolutely no idea why I am doing what I am doing”.

“You’ve been working too hard, come over here and relax” means, “Turn off the vacuum until the next commercial break”.

“I can’t find…” means, “Where did you put my ……?!”

“I heard you the first time” means, “I have no idea what you just said.”

“It would take too long to explain” means, “I hope I come up with a good reason why I did what I just did.”

“Let me check my schedule” means, “I hope something else better surfaces”.

“It’s not you, it’s me.” Actually means, “It’s you!”

“You look great” means, “If we don’t leave now we will be late”.

“I’ve got something to tell you” means, “I’ve done something really stupid, brace yourself”.

THE FIRST THING

2011-06-07T10:24:00.012-04:00

Some people may say, “I don’t know the first thing about”…and that may include their walk with God. If someone is trying to put a slide rule, calculator or calendar to the activities and ways of God they will be very frustrated. We do know, according to Paul that, “…from the beginning of time God made himself known…” ( Romans 1.19,20). The scientist may say, “This cannot be proved”. The atheist is heard saying, “There is no God”, the frustrated person simply says, "Oh God!" and, the materialist’s lifestyle today demonstrates, “I have my own God”. Bottom line, the ‘first thing’ is God.

A second idea about 'the first thing' (God!) deals with“creativity or, change”. God saw that the world was dark so he lighted it. God saw the world was empty and God filled it and; God heard the silence and so he, spoke into it. One translation of the English word, “create” is, “to fatten” or “to fill”. Question: Are the things you involve yourself marked with creativity or, in some way, ‘fill the empty places’ where there is noticeable need?

A third idea very much related to God’s “creativity” has to do with“relationship”. Scripture teaches that “God walked with Adam and Eve" (Gen. 3.8), "looked for Adam and Eve" (Gen. 3.9), "God spoke with Adam and Eve" (3.9) and, made both temporal and eternal provision for them (Gen. 3.21). This entire “relational sequencing” is described in John 1.1,14, "In the beginning was the word (God SPEAKS) ... and the word became flesh (God INHABITS) and dwelt among us (God COMMITS) and we beheld His glory (God is DISCERNABLE), glory as of the only begotten from the Father (God is RELATIONAL), full of grace and truth (God is GRACIOUS)."

A fourth idea we know about the “first thing” is that God wants humanity to experience “meaning or significance”. If Adam and Eve had not been given a “purpose statement” (“Go and order the land”, Gen. 1.28) they would have certainly asked one day, “What are we here for?” These four ideas,

God--creativity--relationship--meaning are like the four points of a compass that direct our lives.

A concluding question, “Can these four ideas be measured? Can a person really know if what they say are priorities, are REAL priorities?” I emphatically say, “YES!” On day seven of the Genesis account we learn, God rested. God stopped working, not because God was tired but because His creative works were complete. A person can know if they live life guided by these four ideas IF…One, our work will be blessed by God (God declared, 'good', everything that was created) and two, we experience authentic rest (shalom, well being). Rest, freedom from striving, is a second sign or evidence that what we have put our hands, and minds and hearts to is honoring to God.

WHATEVER

2011-01-12T10:26:00.003-05:00

One of the most popular expressions in contemporary culture that is heard when someone no longer wants to discuss a subject is, “Whatever!” In todays culture “Whatever” means, “I’m done with this conversation.” “Whatever” does not mean, “Whatever you say” or, “I’ll do what you are recommending.” “Whatever” is often used as a distancing maneuver to get people ‘off your back.’ The biblical writer, Paul, used the word “whatever” numerous times. However, Paul’s use of this word was very different from our day. On one of these occasions Paul was encouraging the Philippians to be full of joy, be free of worry, experience God’s peace and live with renewed thinking. Then, Paul gave his secret to avoiding a “whatever mentality.”

PAUL SAYS THE SECRET TO being free from a ‘whatever attitude’ is in your thoughtlife. Paul wrote, “…whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable…think on these things…put into practice all that you have learned..” (4. 8,9). Again, being free of a ‘whatever mentality’ begins in our thoughtlife. If you are wanting to have a fresh way of looking at difficult issues be reminded, "My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine and… my thoughts higher than your thoughts." (Is. 55.8)

A NEW YEAR

2011-01-01T15:37:00.008-05:00

After forty years of wandering Israel was about to receive all that they had been prophetically promised. Nearly an entire generation had passed away; perhaps millions of people died never being able to see or experience what their hearts had longed for. If you are hoping and praying to enter into 'a promised land' experience in 2011, the following words may be of help to you.

In Joshua 3 Israel is given two instructions before moving ahead with the vision God had given to them for their future. One instruction came from their earthly leaders and included a prophetic promise. The other instruction came from God and included a heavenly confirmation from God. Wherever there is an authentic prophetic promise given my men, there will always be a confirming substantiation of that same promise given by God. The first instruction to Israel(Josh. 3.5) from their leaders was to 'consecrate' themselves. The word consecrate means to vow or to set aside. But more so, to consecrate oneself is to understand that the new undertaking has a special purpose to it. The instruction to "consecrate yourselves" was given because the place to where the people would be going was a place that they had never been before. The second instruction, from God, was 'to stand still...and listen to the word of the Lord'(Josh 3.7-9). Again, there is no better time of the year for "standing still and listening", than the beginning of a new year.

Following Moses and leading the people into the Promised Land would be no small task for anyone. Joshua, Moses' successor, had seen and heard all that Moses had been through. Because Joshua had seen and heard so much for these many years he must of asked himself, "Do I trust God to help me?” Joshua perhaps also asked, "Will God shield me any better from the stiff-necked attitudes of this pilgrim people than He did Moses? Will the people treat me any better than they did Moses?" These would all be natural and logical questions to ask. Even on our best days, it is easy for anyone to ask such questions.

Final thoughts for your new year. First, whatever is before you, ask God to show you how He wants to use you in moving forward in 2011. Two, get past your past (Joshua had to get past the huge shadow of Moses)--in some very real ways, let 2010 go! Three, believe what God has said about you and your future role and act as though you believe it! And four, live with the expectation that all that God has promised will come to pass.

TREE OF LIFE

2010-12-14T07:55:00.016-05:00

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life" (Prov. 13.12) has become another life verse for me. One biblical word for hope (used in Prov. 13.12) originally meant ‘backside’, as in, the backside of the moon or the other side of a coin. When you look at a coin in your hand or the moon in the night sky, you know another side exists, even though you cannot see it.

Hope is often equated with things that we cannot see, like the future. REALITY: There are times when God allows us to see only part of a picture. Paul wrote of this reality, “I only see through a glass dimly but one day, I will see clearly”. REALITY: There are other times when we say we have been given a promise from God yet, the promise is long in coming. Several people in scripture knew of this reality. David, the shepherd boy, had to wait to become king. Abraham had to wait for his promised son, Isaac. Hannah was barren for many years before the birth of her son, Samuel. Moses was in a 40 year preparation time before he would become Israel’s deliverer. The children of Israel lived in 400 years of silence before the silence was broken by the coming of the foretold Messiah. Jesus, seemingly, had a thirty year ‘waiting’ time before his official ministry began.

Why does God, at times, seem to be so S-L-O-W? I do not know. However, I am strengthened by words found in Habakkuk 2.3, “...revelation has an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. I am also encouraged by the promise, ”Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise” (Heb. 10.23). Proverbs 13 gives other practical instruction during ‘waiting times’. While waiting we are to: (1) listen with our ears to instruction (v.1)—be teachable, (2) guard our mouths—be silent (v.3), (3) starve laziness (v.4)—be disciplined, (4) develop a hatred for that which is false (v.5)-be lovers of truth, (5) allow righteousness within us to increase (v.9)-be Godly and, (6) steward wisely the money that we have been entrusted with-be financially smart.

I have more to say about,“a hope deferred” and “a longing fulfilled” but I close with this invitation. Look at the picture on this posting. Take note of the root system from which, the life of the tree exists. QUESTION: What are you deeply rooted in, that is, what is the source or tap root by which everything in your life flows from?

THE NIGHT BEFORE FINALS

2010-12-08T08:25:00.021-05:00

'Twas the night before finals and all through the college, the students were praying for last minute knowledge. On cliff notes and friend's notes and last year's exams-- Help them O God, as only you can. So know college students, the brightest and best,"Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test".

The first morning of finals some students looked shoddy--they stayed up all night, forgetting to study. With visions of grandeur and "A's" on the brain not coming to class has made them insane. So I called, 'On caffeine, on Mocha'... and God knows what else, I fear some students left brains on the shelf. When from out of their slumber comes such a clatter, with sleep in their eyes, they ask,"What's the matter?!" Up out of bed and quick as a flash only to find, their computers have crashed.

It's the last day of finals and all through the dorms

not a student is moving, which is always the norm.

Professors are grading with haste and dispatch

Students are leaving, some hope to be back.

It's the day after finals for professors and scholars,

no classes, no grading and nothing to bother.

No emails, no meetings and no calls to return ~

But reminders to all,

'Don't forget what you've learned'.

And now with this said and

no more to write.

I wish to all, and to all

'a good night'.

NEARLY DONE

2010-12-01T15:20:00.005-05:00

EVERYONE HAS 31 DAYS LEFT OF 2010. If 2010 was a year of “new ordering” (10 signifies a new order of things to come), then you have 31 days to complete this ordering. If this past year has had little to nothing new for you, you still have…can live in and pray for, God to put new things into place for you. You may ask, “How can I ‘see’ this new thing?” In my last post I wrote that the number “11”, in addition to meaning internal conflict, rebellion and disorder can mean discernment and revelation. I pray for new eyes to see that which has been hidden from you. I offer you these words of action and direction ~

Enjoy the work I have given you to do. Know that your work and your call are not in vain; I will reward you (Isaiah 49:4). Rest in Me, and cease striving (Ecclesiastes 4:6). Learn My wisdom; do not dwell on former things (Isaiah 43:18). I have new things for you now (Isaiah 42:9; 48:6). I will show you how to proceed at the proper time (Ecclesiastes 8:5). I hold you, along with your past, present and future, in My hand (Ecclesiastes 9:1). Dwell in My joy, and be confident in My approval of you (Ecclesiastes 9:7). Be mighty, in word and deed (Ecclesiastes 9:10). You do not know everything your future holds; only I do (Ecclesiastes 10:14).

I tell you little one, You shall reap in due time (Galatians 6:9), for your labor is not in vain in Me. My words shall not return to Me empty, but will accomplish My purpose" (Isaiah 55:11).

2011

2010-11-28T15:17:00.008-05:00

I wrote in my first blog of 2010, “the number ten is one of four “perfect numbers” (3,7,10,12). The number ten is the start of a new order of numbers in double digits as compared to the previous single digit numbers…people who study numbers tell us the mere presence of “ten” signifies that the previous representation of numbers that went before is now complete, they served their purpose, take note.

I have been studying the number, “11”, as in 2011. In my research I discovered the number 11 is associated with judgment and disorder. There are eleven judgments upon the Egyptians. There were eleven disciples after, Judas betrayed Jesus. Augustine, writing in the mid 300s, stated that "the number eleven is the blazon of sin". One might say that eleven is symbolic of internal conflict, rebellion and disorder. In a contemporary context you may have heard it said, “They waited to the 'eleventh hour'" meaning, because the clock runs to twelve, the “eleventh hour” is the last hour to get things done. Therefore, the eleventh hour suggests urgency. A more positive understanding of “11” (I will speak to this next post) says that this number can also signify discernment and revelation.

I am not saying 2011 will be a year of conflict or disorder although I suppose one could make a case for this. I am saying that the year 2010 has been a “newly ordered year” for me. Particularly as 2010 is ending I have seen an increase of miracles around me; the Lord has given me a window of opportunity to pray for and see healing in the lives of many people. If next year does bring upheaval or calamity, all the more reason to finish this year strong and be full of faith that will address coming turmoil. I will be writing more on this theme of ending and beginning--be looking for it. And yes, I am back to writing, for those who have both wondered and asked!

FAITH UPGRADE

2010-08-08T10:18:00.010-04:00

Before someone gets MORE faith or, what I would call a ‘faith upgrade’, one must be certain of a few foundational things about faith. The opening verses of Hebrews 11 tells us faith: ignites belief for/in things not seen (v.1); helps us speak boldly (v.2), allows us to give sacrificially (v.4), will one day bring us into God’s presence (v.5), pleases God (v.6) and, diligent seekers of a ‘faith upgrade’ will be rewarded by God(v.6). A person seeking a ’faith upgrade’ must also remember a prophetic warning that Jesus gave, those seeking to live and lead a life of great faith at times, may not be accepted in their own hometown (Matt. 13.57) and deserted by thought-to-be friends (Jn. 6.66)

The gift of faith (a belief for things not naturally seen or attained) activates miracle working power. If someone is given increased faith to pray for a certain need and, the faith based prayer results in a clear provision from God, the result is a 'faith upgrade' for the one praying and provision for the person who was in need. An unwillingness to step out in faith will certainly delay a ‘faith upgrade’. If someone has faith but does not act on it they have forgotten what James admonishes, ‘faith without action is worthless’ (Js. 2.20). Jesus says, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea’, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says (Mk. 11. 12f.). Miracle working faith begins in the mind but it is released (in obedience) with the tongue (Pr. 18.21). In addition to an unwillingness to act or speak, faith development is also stifled by a suspicious, negative or haughty attitude. If we allow ourselves to be besieged with a negative or suspicious attitude faith will get choked out. These two behaviors, unwillingness to act or speak out and chronic suspiciousness hinder the blessings of God in our lives.

If disobedience or negativity hinder the release of faith what stimulates faith? Humility is the first step in getting a ‘faith upgrade’. A humble person recognizes lack in their life and will ask for help or seek out a person with known success or favor. A continuous humble seeking after God can release a ‘faith upgrade’ (Matt. 7.7). We do well to remember James’ words, ‘we have not either because we do not ask or, we ask with wrong motives’ (4.2). So…why should YOU not have faith upgrade? Today reflect on the following passage from scripture to get your 'faith upgrade' under way, “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land”(2 Chron. 7:14).

ATTITUDE

2010-08-05T10:39:00.012-04:00

I was driving home after being with some very selfish people when I heard the song, “Get Over It”, by the Eagles-- ‘like goen to confession every time you speak…it’s your ball and chain; you wallow in your pain; you wave it like a flag and wear it like a crown; you got your mind in the gutter again and bring everybody down…this has gotta stop sometime-get over it!” The song described all that I had been hearing (ugh!).

Jesus taught that life would not always be easy, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (Jn. 16.33). The nature of God is largely, peaceful. God is also patient and kind and does not keep a record of our wrongs. When we are in conflict and our buttons are getting pushed, this is the opportunity to demonstrate the deepest aspects of the character of God to others. A bad attitude is highly contagious and because of this, is easily “caught” (like a bad cold). If a person hangs around others who have a bad attitude the chances are likely that.....

Now, for those who may be in leadership positions or those who seek to be ‘light in the darkness’ read the following very carefully, “because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy in your heart and out of the abundance of all that He has blessed you with, you will serve the enemies whom the Lord shall send against you. You will live with hunger and thirst, in nakedness and in want of all things; and He will put a yoke of iron upon your neck until He has destroyed you. The Lord will bring a nation against you from afar, from the end of the earth, as swift as the eagle flies, a nation whose language you shall not understand (Deuteronomy 28. 47, 49). Even while trying to finish this writing my own character was challenged. I do not like to be interrupted. I like things to go smoothly but realty is, I need to get over, MYSELF! Please tell me that I am not alone. Take time today to think about your attitudes…..

SPIRIT OF FEAR

2010-08-03T16:21:00.023-04:00

We are all born with full blown butt-naked trust. Look at a small child who throws themselves at their parent—the child fully expects to be caught by the outstretched arms of daddy or mommy. Fear or, lack of trust, is something that we all learn after we have been ‘dropped’ (more than once). Every person I have ever counseled with has admitted something that they were afraid of.

In preparing this post I found a quote I so relate to, “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” (Fulton Oursler). I find this metaphor of fear being a thief, to be very accurate. Personally, I have pretty well put to death the ‘first thief'--I spend little time looking back, second guessing myself or living with regret. As far as the ‘second thief’ (‘fear of the future’) goes, this thief still whispers to me and, loudly. I hear the ‘thief of my future’ because I have trust issues from time to time. I have trust issues because I have been burned. I have learned that believing, investing and risking is costly. In short, loving someone or believing in something can result in great pain. Yet, I have also learned that not loving, trusting or risking will cost me even more. The bible says, "God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice, or cringing or fawning-- God has given us a spirit of power and of love [along with] a calm and well-balanced mind [as well as] discipline and self-control (2Tim. 1:7)

Paul tells us that [an ungodly] fear is a negative spirit. Paul is not talking about a fear that serves a productive purpose. To overcome the 'spirit of fear' that Paul is referencing will involve a calm and well balanced mind and, self control. Is it any wonder that Paul says, ‘take every thought captive’? Is it any wonder Jesus warns of thieves that will come to "steal, and to kill, and to destroy" (John 10:10). The assignment from the spirit of fear is to infiltrate and immobilize us from Kingdom activity. To close, I remind you that many of our most troublesome thieves, “are not of flesh-and-blood…” but rather, thieves on assignment from an “unseen world”(Eph. 6:12) and that, some of the things that we seem to be most afraid of, things we believe to be at striking distance, may be only figments of our ridiculous imaginations.

SURPRISE!

2010-07-30T11:02:00.017-04:00

God loves surprising people. Here is a partial list of God’s surprises: The gift of woman surprised Adam. A new world surprised Noah. The incarnation was a surprise to Mary. The resurrection was a surprise to the disciples. Conversion was a surprise to Saul (he thought he was converted!). The gift of the Holy Spirit surprised the early believers, suddenly. The church was a surprise to the world. And in the end, we, with unveiled faces, will be gloriously surprised with a new heaven, “Behold, He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him…” (Revelation 1:7). With this very partial catalogue of heavenly surprises God seems to be saying, “Get ready to be surprised! I am a God of surprises”.

If any of us could predict a surprise, it would not be a surprise. The God of all creation is an ever-working God whose power is limitless and unconquerable. God's sovereign working is not an excuse for us to sit back and drift with whatever tide comes our way. No, a thousand times no. Even though the undertows of fear and discouragement may bring us down the power of Christ, living in us, will pull us out of the storms of life. Life’s uncertainties must not be allowed to magnify our problems or diminish the power of our great God.

The prophet Isaiah said, “Forget the former things, nothing compares to the new thing I am about to do. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland"(Is. 43. 18,19). Does the Lord himself not tell us that his Father in heaven will move and gift us from heaven, if we would only ask? (Luke 11:13). And in another setting Jesus said, “My Father is always working, and so am I.” (Jn. 5.17). And lest we forget the words of Paul, “being confident of this, that he that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1.6).

Contemporary writer Henry Blackaby states, God is always at work around us and that, God invites us to join Him in His great work. The challenge comes, says Blackaby, is that our ‘joining up’ with God will cause in us a crises of faith. Why? Because ‘the surprise’ is something that we have not been a part of before. As daunting as God’s invitational surprise may be we must remember that Jesus is a powerful stronghold and a strong tower. You absolutely cannot be defeated from an enemy that has already been rendered powerless through the cross of Jesus Christ. Get ready to be surprised!

THE FUTURE

2010-07-23T11:43:00.014-04:00

IF you ever catch yourself thinking about your future (whether worrying or wondering) you have got to: (1) be CONFIDENT that he who began a good work in you will carry that work to completion (Phil. 4:6-7), (2) TRUST in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Prov. 3. 5, 6), (3) KNOW God is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Phil. 2.13), (4) SEEK the LORD and His strength, continually (1 Chron. 16.11) and remember, (5) "No eye has seen or ear heard or mind conceived all that God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Cor. 2.9). Today I am thinking about my future. I have a lot on my mind and heart. I am comforted to know that God will reveal His plans to me through His word that is described as a light to my path (Ps. 119.105), by wise counsel that He will also place in my path (Prov. 15.22) and through emotionally disciplined prayer, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4.6,7). It is not uncommon during a season of reflection, decision making or uncertainty that we become emotionally derailed. Worry is proportional to our sense of security. When life is going as planned and we feel safe in our life routines, then worries subside. Yet, worry can increase when we feel threatened or insecure. Final encouragement to you: “ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach (Js. 1.5) and, God will guide the one who is humble and will also show them what is right (Ps. 25.9).

THANKS AND, NO THANKS

2010-07-16T12:10:00.014-04:00

The heavy chain of ingratitude or criticalness is light until we discover we cannot break it off ourselves. Unthankfulness is one of the worst life sentences I can imagine. One time my wife challenged me when she asked, “How is that you can be so patient and creative with the people you see in counseling but when it comes to our daughter’s bedroom…?” Busted. If you are like me, there must be times when you think that life is just plain difficult. God inspired the apostle Paul to predict today's rampant global attitude of unthankfulness and actually warned us by saying: "...in these last days people will be lovers of themselves . . . unthankful, unholy" (2 Tim. 3.1,2).

You may be saying, “You do not know my life”. Read carefully. Research shows that people who are described by others as either positive or thankful: have lower blood pressure, lose weight faster (than angry people), record less episodes of prolonged stress, live longer, are more attractive candidates in lasting relationships, run a lower risk of clinical depression, phobias, eating disorders and other addictive behaviors. One researcher I read said, “An expression of any feeling is amplified. When you express anger, you get angrier; when you express gratitude, you become more grateful." I have noticed that truly thankful people focus on what they have and not what they do not have, admit they have more than they deserve, are quick to accept reality as it comes their way and seemingly gauge their happiness by experiences, memories, people and non tangibles rather than on money or the world’s symbols of success.

TODAY, thank someone for something specific that they have done for you. If you can thank the person (if the person is deceased, write a letter), do so-- in person. When you thank them, acknowledge the effort it took for them by saying, “I know you had to do___for this to happen and I see this as a sacrifice on your part.” And finally, let the person know the difference their act of kindness personally meant to you. You can do this by saying something like, “I want you to know that because you did, ____, I can now _____”. Living thankfully is a choice so today, choose a new way to start and end your day. You can do it!! Yes, you can.

LOVE AND CHOCOLATE, DAY TWO

2010-07-07T09:22:00.007-04:00

Your brain is a “pharmacy” that when triggered, dispenses a variety of chemicals. One writer said love’s passion does not find its moorings in the habitat of the heart but rather in the chemistry of the brain. We know the brain releases the chemical, Phenylethylamine (PEA). PEA is very similar to a second brain stored “feel good” chemical called, dopamine. A third chemical found in the brain is oxytocin, also called, the ‘cuddling chemical’. Oxytocin stirs feelings of safety and desire and thereby creates a mutual desire in men and women to be more sensitive to one another. Women need to know that oxytocin stimulates women while at the same time, puts men to sleep (Ha!). Scientists have established that chocolate can affect the chemical reactions already taking place in our brains. Chocolate contains PEO which is known to stimulate the release of dopamine. It is well established that chocolate has the ability to excite our pleasure centers and create feelings of euphoria. Despite all of this data, chocolate will probably not make a woman or a man fall in love but it will definitely place a person in someone’s good standing.

Rutgers’s anthropologist, Helen Fisher, further establishes the above idea, “the brain makes and releases the euphoric feelings of love and passion”. Fisher’s findings revealed that the brain is stimulated by romantic love in the same way a person craves chocolate. Although early characteristics of romantic love (increased heart rate, anxiety, fantasy) don't last forever these same qualities reconfigure themselves as people age. Fisher said she has interviewed 8-year-old boys who could perfectly describe intense passion for 8-year-old girls just as readily as couples in their 70s and 80s also claim to be madly in love. When asked if placing love under a microscope sterilizes the mystery of romance Fisher said, “Imagine that you know every ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake. And, when you sit down and eat that chocolate cake, it's still wonderful. Similarly, you can know all the ingredients of romantic love and still feel that passion." Bottom line, any runaway brain chemical reaction can override the most logical of minds-- you have just been given one explanation as to why “One Night Stands” take place. Mark Goulston, M.D, professor of psychiatry at the University of California said, “Chemically based relationships is all about the person, the experience, the thrill, the NOW and for this reason, are nearly always short lived.”

LOVE AND CHOCOLATE

2010-07-05T11:59:00.007-04:00

This will be day one of “Love and Chocolate”. I had way too much fun researching and writing on this one thus, two days. Let’s begin with some quotes (only a few of my favorites):

If it ain't chocolate, it ain't breakfast!

I only do chocolate if I am alone or with someone (Bill’s quote).

Seen on a tee shirt ~ EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY.

Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

For those of you trying to defend your addiction, err….‘like for chocolate’, you can be encouraged with the scientific fact that chocolate is healthy for you. Research shows that chocolate is high in antioxidants; has high amounts of an amino acid which produces serotonin (a natural anti-depressant) and, some believe chocolate increases the brain’s ability to store facts (great pre exam strategy!). We also know that dark chocolate can decrease high blood pressure and improve bouts with chronic fatigue syndrome. As far as chocolate and gender go, chocolate is the number one food group for women worldwide and second only to pizza among men. As far as Americans and chocolate go, a BIG, “HA!” on this one, the average American consumes an average of ______ pounds a year (read to the end for the answer).

I close out day one of “Love and Chocolate” with a ‘practical connection’ to chocolate, really! My research showed me that our emotions can actually be changed, chemically, with the additive of chocolate. If this is the case what are you lacking in your life, what additive do you need to consider, to give yourself a renewed sense of direction? NO! I am not advocating you go out and down your yearly allotment of chocolate in one sitting. I am asking, “What healthy, spiritual or neglected additive do you need to place in your life that may make you feel better?” This could be anything. Your anything could be going for a walk or doing that one thing you have been wanting to do but have not just got around to. Be looking for Day Two, “Love and Chocolate”. Now the answer to Americans and chocolate consumption: the average American consumes nearly 12 pounds of chocolate a year. I always knew I was not average!!

DON'T LOOK BACK

2010-07-03T12:20:00.012-04:00

"The angels said to Lot and his wife, ‘Flee for your life, do not look back or stop anywhere in the valley or you will be consumed!’ (Gen. 19.17)… but Lot’s wife, who was behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt." This story, told about 1900 years before the birth of Christ, seems so farfetched yet first century historian, Josephus, wrote that he had observed it too. He wrote: “Lot’s wife looked back, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. I have seen it with my own eyes, and it remains to this day.” (The Antiquities, 1-11-4).

The Bible records that Lot's wife was at some distance behind him (which I find interesting) and she did the unthinkable, she disobeyed. Even though she had been warned, as Eve also in the Garden of Eden, she looked back…and she was gone forever. I would offer three dangers that people expose themselves to when they ‘look back’. In looking back people tend to romanticize the past, that is to say, the past was so much better than it was. Second, people can catastrophize the past and make the past worse than it ever was (I hear this frequently in divorce scenarios). Third, people sensationalize the past and talk about their history in a way that is nowhere close to reality (I hear people talk about their church’s history in this manner). I am reminded of something Churchill once wrote, "We shape our dwellings and afterwards, they shape us." Jesus only makes passing reference to this story when he says, “Remember Lot’s wife” (Luke 17.32). Jesus uses this story as a reminder that his second coming will come as quickly as the judgment which came on Lot’s wife. Lot’s wife represents anyone who is fascinated by and wedded to the way things used to be or, who are more than certain that their way is the right and only way.

Paul understood how easy it is for anyone to look back, for whatever reason. To the Philippians he wrote, “… This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”(Phil. 3:13,14). The answer to this common life reality Paul councils, “I cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10.5). Final thoughts, it is easy to look back—don’t beat yourself up if you do this from time to time. Second, there is a time for reflecting, especially over a serious matter but these times should not be done alone but with a trusted friend and, be given a specific concluding time line. And third, I have been helped by something Bill Johnson once said, “When your memories outnumber your dreams you are beginning to die.”

MEN: CELEBRATE WOMEN!

2010-06-30T11:31:00.030-04:00

TRUTH TIME: If most men were honest with themselves they would have to admit that relating to women, freely, does not come easy. If you are a man reading this post, and have a ‘female’ challenge before you, here are four ideas to help you. EXPLORE what you believe about women. (Many men never stop to think about what they actually think about women.). From the Genesis account it is clear that God placed an equal role for both men and women to perform. Adam and Eve were each given an equal share in ‘taking dominion’ or ‘bringing order’ to the land that was placed before them (Gen. 1.28). If men are to have less stressed relationships with women (as compared to stressFULL) it will begin by relating to a woman as an equal.

If you HAVE BEEN a man who has had an unhealthy view of women EARN the respect of the women around you by changing your behavior and attitudes about women. I am not talking about lip service, patronizing or convenience-based behaviors. I am talking about a serious makeover. If you need help with this, go to a man you respect (and that women respect) and get the help you need. If YOU ARE a man who is discovering that your understanding of women has been less than fair, just or admirable EXPRESS to the woman closest to you your sincere apology for your ‘gender bias’ and ask for forgiveness for your previous bigoted, unkind and narrow-minded mindset.

If you WANT TO BE a man that women are attracted to, desirous of, seek out, respect, ask opinions from, want to be a friend with or possibly, one day marry…EMPOWER the women in your life; actively give women sincere appreciation and recognition. A second way of empowering women is to be respectful of women (loose your sexist or chauvinistic humor). A third way to empower women (whereby women feel safe around you) is to publically treat women as equals, in front of other men. A final way to encourage women is, learn how to cook! (Women love men who cook!! I am serious on this one.)

Final thought men. Many women today have 'male issues' because of how they have been treated by men (not to mention by their fathers). Guys, you must know this. The depth of this pain sorrows Father God. It is time for men to remember the words of the Apostle Paul when he wrote, "there is no longer a dividing line between men and women"....so men, what are we waiting for?

THE INVISIBLE SILENT GOD

2010-06-30T09:56:00.007-04:00

There is a book in the Bible (there is actually more than one!) that does not specifically mention God. The book of Esther is a story of a young Jewish girl who was adopted and cared for by a man named Mordecai (2.7). Esther would eventually marry the king of Persia although she would keep her original Jewish nationality and heritage a secret from her husband, Xerxes (2.10). Before Esther could wear the crown she had to endure a twelve month process of purification (12 is the number which represents authority) and a six month period where she was given a ‘beauty makeover’ using the oil of myrrh (Myrrh was used in preparing people for burial. The word ‘myrrh’ can also be translated, ‘bitter’). During Esther’s lifetime a plot stirred in the Persian Empire against her Jewish people under an evil man named Haman (2.5). The young Jewish queen waited and prayed in silence for her people’s deliverance. During this time of emotional unrest and spiritual silence Esther is reminded by her cousin Mordecai, “…you have come into your position for such a time as this...”(4.14). Esther asked Mordecai to fast and pray for her because she, at the risk of her own life, had decided to reveal her own heritage and, the evil plot by Haman. Her own determination in the face of potential loss of life is found in the words, “I will go to the king, though it is against the law. If I perish, I perish” (4.16).

This ‘short story’ reminds us that the realities of life can seem unfair, God can appear to be uninvolved and, people around us (i.e., Haman) do hurtful things. There are other lessons too, like: God puts us in places, situations and relationships that God knows we will be able to handle; extended ‘purification processes’ like the one Esther endured are not fun, but they serve a purpose and, we all have people around us that can encourage us (i.e., Mordecai). My final word, even though God at times appears to be silent and uninvolved remember the words of Paul, “when I was younger I thought like a child. When I became older I put childish ways behind me. Though I see through a glass only dimly, one day I will see all things clearly…” (1 Cor. 13. 11).

HE SAID (based on Acts 1)

2010-06-22T09:06:00.017-04:00

He said,
"Wait for promised power
it will come.
And when you think you can't go on-
hope will be in the morning sun".

He said,
"Some baptize with water and others
with shallow words;
You, my child, will be my example
leading others onward".

He said,
"Times and dates and reasons why
are not for you to know;
but trust in me and I will show
a more excellent way".

And after he said these things and
taken from our sight
a morning's quiet turned into restless night and
I remembered,

He said,
"I am with you always,
do not fear.
When you feel most alone remember,
I Am here

I Am here,

for you."

LEANING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?

2010-06-19T12:10:00.015-04:00

Some brief history: The leaning tower at Pisa was built in three stages over a period of about 177 years. MISTAKE ONE: the tower's lean is due to an unidentified and preexisting unstable soil foundation and therefore, the construction was flawed from the beginning. MISTAKE TWO: denial—contractors (there were many!!), for over a half century tried to find a variety of ways to compensate for the increasing tilt (can’t be done). MISTAKE THREE: after a doomed foundation and the attempt to compensate for a problem (which is stupidity)— declare the tower and its surrounding neighborhood a national cathedral and make others pay for the builder's mistakes (never admitting to wrong doing). In June 2010, Guinness World Records officially certified the tower as the "World's Furthest Leaning Man-made Tower" (dugh!!).

My application to the above three mistakes: (1) there is no right way of fully correcting a wrong thing. If you identify something wrong in your life, admit it and stop immediately. This is the ONLY way of correcting a mistake; (2) a person who does not stop doing what they know is wrong or unhealthy is in fact, the poster child for denial and, (3) people who think that their behavior or beliefs are ‘unique’ or who say, ‘people just don’t understand me’ will find some way to make other people “pay for” their poor choices or ongoing unhealthy existence. For anyone reading this who might have “tower people” around them, that is to say, people who are definitely leaning in the wrong direction (and, you find it difficult to NOT want to help them), stop your unhealthy attempts to help them! You see, there are two types of tower people. "Tower Person Number One" leans in the direction of unhealthy living. This person leads an unexamined and unhealthy life and is largely not aware of the shifting foundational issues that have resulted in frustration, disappointment and loss. Further, these types of "Tower People" will always find a way to compensate (not pay the price for health) or explain why their ‘lean or perspective’ should be believed. "Tower Person Number One" always has a way of finding "Tower Person Number Two". "Tower Person Number Two" also has a lean--they lean in the wrong direction of unhealthy helping. If you are a "Tower Person Number Two" and choose to stay involved with "Tower Person Number One" at some point in time you will pay for it.

VICTIM THINKING

2010-06-16T09:51:00.013-04:00

[vik-tim] noun. A way of thinking found in people who suffer from a destructive or injurious action; a wound resulting from deception that is rooted in false emotions or ignorance or misplaced confidence.

There will come a time when an expectation you had will not be met or worse yet, you get taken advantage of by someone you thought you could trust. When life does not go your way it is easy to fall into what is called, ‘victim thinking’. You can tell if you have a victim mentality by listening to yourself carefully. DO YOU: Blame others for what is happening around you rather than take personal responsibility?; Is it hard for you to be grateful for what happiness you do have?; Relive the past by telling your disappointments to others (i.e., ‘That reminds when…)?; Think the world is against you and you have little to no power?; Have black and white or ‘My way-or the highway’ thinking?; Have a difficult time seeing another person’s perspective?; Live with hopelessness or, look for problems even when there are none? If any of these questions are all too familiar to you, you will fall into self pity (a cousin to victim thinking). John Gardner writes, “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”

The choice to move out of a victim orientation (and this is a choice!) might be one of life’s biggest challenges. One way I have moved through victimized thinking is to realize that the past is the past—period. There is nothing I can do about a past negative situation but I can change my present response to the situation. Albert Einstein reportedly said, “The world we have created is a product of our thinking; we cannot change our world without changing our thinking.” When I have changed, re-framed or reinterpreted my past I no longer am plagued with ‘what if’ or, ‘if only’ toxic thinking. If I continue with negative thinking about my past I give away my creative power to change my present and my future. If I somehow think my future happiness is dependent on getting even or seeing some kind of payback then again, I have given away my power. You can move beyond victim thinking by asking yourself: Will this matter five years from now? Am I taking this too personally? Am I seeing this clearly? What is something constructive I can do right now? Am I more concerned with my future or living in my past? What excuse or reason am I holding onto to NOT move on with my life?

Final words, hard words: life is not all about you and, life can be unfair. Make the choice TODAY, move on—you might be very surprised at what is behind your door of happiness….

HARD OF HEARING

2010-06-09T14:48:00.014-04:00

The bible says there will be a day(s) when a strange famine will come upon the earth. This is not a famine of food but rather, a famine where God’s people will feel or think that God no longer speaks (see Amos 8.11-12). The ‘prophetic fork’ is in God and God is ‘done’. These thoughts of victimization often come when life has ganged up on us and we wonder if there will ever be peace again. The Apostle Paul writing hundreds of years later warned of these days by saying, ” … God has given them a spirit (an attitude) of stupor, eyes that do not see and ears that do not hear…” (Romans 11:8).

In times like I just described, I have seen people that were moving so fast that they have actually moved past God (and what they thought were for very godly reasons). This frantic pace of life is not intentionally done but rather done without even knowing it. Some of God’s pilgrims have unknowingly: overestimated their spiritual maturity or discernment, underestimated the challenge that is before them and in so doing have failed to recognize that they have moved beyond ‘ear shot’ of God. When these three ideas come into play it is nearly certain that there has been: an ignoring of early warning signs that we are moving too fast, a slowly developing arrogance that believes, ‘I can get through this’ and ultimately, a disconnect from spiritual reality that results in the belief (lie!), 'God must not like me anymore'.

However, there is good news! The writer of Hebrews penned, "I give thanks to the Father, who has qualified YOU to share in the inheritance of the Saints in the Kingdom of Light." (Hebrews 6:11). God knowing we would have ‘hard of hearing days’ and ‘broken hearted nights’ God encourages us by saying, “…though the earth should change and the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though waters roar and foam over us and the mountains quake….THERE IS a river whose streams make glad the city of God… God is in the midst of her (your pain amidst the silence), she (and YOU) will not be moved (see Ps. 46).

In the name of our Wonderful Counselor, your Mighty God, the everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace (Is. 9.6) I say to you, TODAY, you are not hard of hearing! God has just spoken.

AGAIN

2010-06-02T15:58:00.007-04:00

For the second time in less than three months I have lost a dear friend. In April my loss was a 38 year old former student, a husband and father. My second loss was someone who I did not know as well. Yet, this giggly, funny, 27 year old newly engaged woman (her husband-to-be was her only boyfriend) is gone from me. These out of the blue-unexplained-senseless losses have left me empty except for the questions and tears that anyone experiencing loss has. I wrote down the following three thoughts this afternoon in my own attempt to move through my pain. THREE IDEAS can be helpful for anyone who is experiencing loss or disappointment.

FIRST, resist trying to make sense of your pain especially when the wound is fresh and the tears flow readily. Logic is no friend when it comes to explaining loss. No autopsy. No lawsuit. Nothing, will fill the chasm that the knife of significant loss creates. SECOND, try to believe that the difficult situation could be God’s designed way to get you to see something that is bigger than what you were formerly living in. Your disappointment could be a catapulting mechanism that may turn your head and fix your eyes on something that is actually bigger and deeper than your loss. Remember, I am still in the freshness of my own loss as I write this! ThIRD, while in loss, place yourself in safe environments where you can be renewed—be careful who you choose to talk to (it is amazing the stupid things people will say to grieving people). I feel a ramble coming on so I will close….

THE BIKE RIDE

2010-05-29T18:47:00.001-04:00

When I was young I saw God as an observer or judge of my life. It seemed to me that God spent His time keeping track of all the things I did, both good and bad, so as to know whether I would enter Heaven when I die. Sometime later, I saw God more like a friend on a bike ride; a tandem bike. I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal as I steered my life. I don't know just when it happened but one day, He suggested we change places, and my life has not been the same since.

When I had control, I knew the way. My life could be rather boring, even predictable. I often chose the shortest distance between two points. But when God took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, to beaches, through rocky places and would even travel at breakneck speeds. There were days where it was all I could do to just hang on. I discovered that God even knows great bike secrets; God knows how to turn the sharp corners into a wonderful bend, pass slower bike riders and even point out things that I would have otherwise missed. It is amazing what God sees. Even though at times I thought for sure we were headed for a wreck or that we were lost, He would just say, "Pedal, pedal!"

I will tell you, there are still days when I get anxious and ask, "Where are you taking me?" He just laughs and never, and I mean never, answers that question. He just says, “Trust me.” He takes me to people who have gifts that I need, gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God's and mine. And when we were off again, He’d say, "Give the gifts away, you were given them to share." And so I did, I would give my gifts away to other people we would meet. I found out that in giving, I received. I learned that in giving, my cares and concerns melt away.

I think I have learned to leave my boring life behind and enter the adventure that God offers me and really, to anyone. And I'm learning to trust God better, and pedal even in the most unfamiliar places. I am beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my God as my guide. And when I'm sure I can't go any further or when I get scared, God has an uncanny way of knowing. In those times God leans back, touches my hand, smiles and says, "Just pedal!"

TIME OUTS

2010-05-16T15:00:00.004-04:00

What does 96 X 15 equal? And no, the answer is not 1,440!!.

The answer: everyday is divided up into 96, 15 minute time periods. If a person took JUST ONE 15 minute ‘time out’ during the day (time outs are wasted on the young) to do whatever--to be quiet, reflect, journal, pray, paint, garden, create, walk, or even have a good old fashioned belly laugh there might be far less stress in a person’s day. So, why don’t people take time for themselves? I think most people do not RUN TO the next calendared event of the day as much as people are RUNNING FROM something. If a person was to slow down long enough or, in the words of Mark Twain, “Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like you’ve never been hurt” a person might make some incredible discoveries, about themselves. Brennan Manning said if a person wants more out of their relationship with God and others they must allow themselves to be loved as they are and not as they should be. Manning went on to say that self hatred is the biggest obstacle that keeps a person from experiencing real joy in life.

What is my connection between ‘time outs’ and self hatred? A person filled with self hatred will AVOID a 15 minute time out because they do not want to be reminded in their time of quiet how shallow their busy life has become. If “busy” is understood as “Being Under Satan’s Yoke”, quiet reflection can be understood as the way to get out from under this same yoke. The Latin word, ‘vocare’ (where we get the word, vocation) is best translated, ‘the voice calling from within’. If a person wants more in life than what they are currently experiencing, take a time out. And in the quietness, you will hear, a Voice calling…..

STOP LYING

2010-05-11T12:50:00.005-04:00

Lying is a huge problem today. Research shows that men are twice as likely to lie as women. Men lie to preserve their reputation whereas women lie to avoid conflict. Not to make light of a very serious issue, but below you will find ten lies commonly made by both men and women.

Lies Men Tell (not in any particular order)
1. I never said that. 2. I don’t know. 3. We will talk about that later.
4. I forgot. 5. I was only kidding. 6. I’m on my way home. 7. I can quit anytime. 8. I can’t change, I have always been like this. 9. I’m sorry (because I got caught). 10. Your career is as important as mine.

Lies Women Tell (not in any particular order)
1. You’re right. 2. Five minutes. 3. Don’t worry about it. 4. I didn’t marry you for your money. 5. I’m not ready to get into a committed relationship. 6. I’m not mad at you. 7. I got it on sale. 8. Fine.
9. I wouldn’t change a thing about you. 10. I’m so over that.

One bible passage that impacted me about lying is found in Proverbs. God identifies lying as one of seven things that God, “hates” (Prov. 6. 16f.). The following is a partial list of what I think are more deceptive types of lying, as compared to ‘big fat lies’. When a person states a partial truth--they’ve lied. When we are silent in face of a wrong doing--we lie. When we make false promises that we know we will never keep-we lie. When we flatter someone rather than telling them the truth-we lie.
If God hates lying, and God does---stop it, NOW.

Respectable Christian Sins

2010-05-02T14:42:00.012-04:00

I found the title of this posting from a phrase used by Jack Frost. When I read the words ‘respectable Christian sins’ I thought, ‘what an odd choice of words’….but he is right! Church going parishioners and bible degree holding pastors equally have grown comfortable with respectable Christian sins. To an entire church an exiled leader/pastor said, “You have the reputation of being alive but in fact you are dead” (Rev. 3.2). This may be one biblical example of people who have been (PAST TENSE) known for good deeds but have allowed themselves (PRESENT TENSE) to fall into, ‘respectable Christian sins’. Pascal was right when he said, 'People never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction'. Simply defined, a respectable christian sin is:

RESPECTABLE CHRISTIAN SIN = BELIEF - ACTION

So I thought, ‘what are some of these Christian sins that we have white washed, sanctified, rationalized and justified?’ Any guesses? To borrow Jeff Foxworthy’s idea (You know you are a redneck when…); you know you have a respectable Christian sin operating when….

Exaggerating past successes is more important than being faithful to what God is calling you to in the future;

It is more important to be right in an argument rather than be reconciled in a relationship;

You provocatively dress to attract or gain attention from others instead of wanting to be attractive to God;

Failure to recognize that it is the blood of Jesus that covers sins and not excuses;

Non church going people are quicker to love the unlovely than you are;

Claiming to be a Christian while behavior says otherwise;

You hold others to a standard that you know you are not maintaining yourself;

Keeping up appearances is more important than letting down and asking for help;

You ask seemingly cleaver questions, all to hide manipulative intentions.

Just think about it, I am ................

FAVOR

2010-05-01T16:25:00.004-04:00

Noun. Offer an advantage or benefit to someone or something; an act of gracious kindness done out of good will rather than from remuneration; being approved or held in regard, unfair partiality; preferential treatment.

Given this definition of favor, who would not want favor in their job so they could be successful? Favor in relationships so that life may be more meaningful? And yes, even favor with God. The first biblical account of a person who received the favor from God is Noah. The days of Noah could be described as a time when people knew more about things that did not matter and understood even less about things that truly mattered. Sound like today? The days of Noah even had, 'older men of great renown yet...whose every thought became continually evil...' (6.5). Genesis 6.8 tells us Noah was a regular guy; he had a family and lived a normal life until…. My point, you do not have to be someone special to get special treatment or gain approval from God. However, the text goes on to describe Noah as a righteous man, who walked with God, heard from God and obeyed God. Here, in these four observations, Noah is beginning to sound very different than you and me. So, can a person specifically seek the favor (undue benefit or treatment) from God? I think, "yes." Here are some action steps for you to consider...

First, you must know favor (gracious kindness, to be held in high regard) from God is tied directly to life’s circumstances. The circumstances surrounding Noah’s life was that Noah remained close to God while living in a world that was quickly going to hell. Anyone can gain favor (approval) from God in troublesome times but we must remain faithful to God. Second, favor from God is directly tied to people. When I have needed tangible support, emotional encouragement or financial provision God has ALWAYS sent people into my life. When the tormenting waters of life rise like a flood we must grasp a hold of God’s gracious outstretched arm--- in these times you will discover the hand of God will be found in the clasp of someone that God has sent to you. Third, favor from God is directly tied to action. Noah is mentioned in the ‘Hall of Fame’ in Hebrews 11 as someone who was decisive. Noah refused to be paralyzed by the world’s taunting and snickering voices. The writer of Hebrews says, “It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. Noah obeyed God, who had warned him about things that had never happened before… By his faith Noah received the righteousness that comes by faith” (Heb. 11.7).

You may be living in Noah-like days, your flooding baptism may be financial, vocational, chemical…maybe even spiritual. A final thought, the little faith that lives in you and moves you to a Noah-like action WILL move God. Scripture is clear, ‘Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.” (Heb. 11.1)

THINK POSITIVE

2010-04-30T13:49:00.011-04:00

Confession: I watch American Idol from time to time. I enjoy watching Simon’s critical perspective on the performer who indeed is, the “Idol-Want-To-Be”.

Simon’s perspective is rarely predictable. In spite of Simon, I have been thinking about the importance of having a positive perspective. Our culture today is predictably filled with whiners, nay-sayers and neg-aholics. I’ll admit it, at times I can easily become critical. When Goliath came against the Israelites, the soldiers all thought, "He’s so big we can never kill him." David looked at the same giant and must have thought, "He’s so big I can’t miss." Two shoe salesmen were sent to Africa. One sent a telegram home that said: “Get me home, nobody here wears shoes.” The other salesman’s telegram said: “I’m going to be here a long time. Send me all of the shoes you can, nobody here wears shoes.” After hundreds of failed experiments Thomas Edison reportedly told a lending institution, “I am not a failure, I am merely an expert on what does not work.” Again, perspective!

In his later years Paul wrote, "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable; things that are excellent and worthwhile. Put into practice all you learned and received from me and, do what you have seen me do….this one thing I know, I have learned the secret of living in every situation…I face (endure, overcome, vanquish) every situation, whether well-fed or hungry because I know I can do all things through Christ who give me all the strength and power I need (Phil. 4:8-12). Paul is so practical in his counsel on achieving a positive perspective. First, positivity begins in the mind (be aware of your thought life!). Second, positivity is nurtured when we do the things that we have been taught will bring success. And third, a positive attitude flows down from the mind to our behavior to our hearts. Positivity occurs because a person has a heartfelt faith in God in spite of what is going on around them. Positivity involves our minds, our behavior and our emotions--positivity stirs up a “can do” attitude in each of us.

A GOOD CRY

2010-04-17T09:47:00.019-04:00

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, no reason to be down, but I am. So I write. I ended up doing some research on ‘crying’, here is what I learned. Dr. William H. Frey II, a researcher at the St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center said emotionally released tears contain protein-based hormones that are actually, a natural painkiller. Aristotle theorized that a good cry “cleanses the mind.” New York Times reporter Benedict Carey referred to tears as “emotional perspiration”. John Bradshaw wrote in his book,“Home Coming”, "All feelings need to be felt. Sometimes we just need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.” In his article, “The Miracle of Tears”, from which I’ve lifted some of the research for this post, author Jerry Bergman identified several positive aspects of a ‘good cry'. Here, then, are four ways 'crying' can heal us physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually. First, tears help us see, without tears our eyesight would be blocked out altogether. Two, tears kill bacteria. Tears contain lysozyme, which can kill 90 to 95 percent of all bacteria in a good five to 10 minute cry! Three, crying can elevate mood. Research shows that crying can reduce anxiety, nervousness, irritability, fatigue, depression and, anger. Four, tears build community. Yeah, I know, a ridiculous crier may be nothing more than a person consumed with self. But on the other hand, authentic tears can be someone’s legitimate “help language”, some people do not have words, only tears.

A final thought, and this is especially for people who tend to be more of a ‘thinker’ than a ‘feeler’. At times, people try to figure out why they are feeling what they are feeling; they ask, 'Where the tears are coming from?' or, 'Is there some mystical or spiritual reason behind these tears?' Here is my word for those who try to figure out their tears….don’t try to figure out your tears but remember what an ancient writer once penned, “tears are the wine of angels-- those who intercede for you, from heaven”.

A DAY OFF

2010-04-15T17:13:00.007-04:00

I hear people of all ages say they want a day off. Over worked and under appreciated people live for the weekend. Students this time of year want the current semester to end (and so do professors!). An aging spouse I know, who is now a caregiver, wants a day off from the stress of changing one more adult diaper. Psychologists have a diagnosis for this type of stress, it is called, 'hurry sickness". Here are six signs that you may be in too big a hurry, (1) no matter what line you wait in, it never moves fast enough, (2) you pride yourself as a phenomenal multi-tasker but you think you never get enough accomplished, (3) you buy the latest time saving device or book but do not have time to read the instructions, (4) people you love the most get 'left overs' and, I am not referring to dinner, (5) you turn the most simple of tasks into an Olympic sized event for personal recognition and finally, to quote Carl Jung, (6) "Hurry is not of the devil. Hurry is the devil."

So, is it a day off you need? Really? What would happen if you took a day off from anger? You would be a little more peaceful. A day off from the radio? In your silence you might hear a creative new solution to that problem you have been trying to solve. A day off from coming home late? You would get an early evening sunset walk and some needed exercise. A night off from the computer....my wife and I started reading a new book together. So take a day off, a whole day from something, anything and you will be amazed at what you will discover.

Precious to the Lord

2010-03-28T14:16:00.026-04:00

I unexpectedly lost a good friend, a son in the faith, this week. I have asked myself, “Where was God Thursday morning when Tim passed from this life to the next?” When scripture says, “all things” work for good (Ro 8.28) and that God upholds “all things” by the word of His power (Heb 1.3)....times like this put my theology to the test. However these two words, “all things”, have been God’s healing ointment to the open and empty wound in my heart. If you have ever lost something dear to you be encouraged by God’s “All Things”…

All things come into being through Him (Jn 1.3). Jesus, the Son of God, will reconcile all things (Col. 1.20) to Himself. All things are possible with God (Matt. 19.26). In the end, the very end, God promises to make all things new (Rev. 21.5)…including, one day, lifeless bodies. God brings all things together for those who love God (Ro. 8.28)…even the hardest things.

Life’s tragic and unexplainable events may not themselves be good but God uses even the horrific chapters of our lives for a much greater outcome. People of faith know God did not spare His own Son, but delivered AND resurrected Him for us all. Would God not also freely deliver and resurrect us so that we may inherit all things? (Ro. 8.32). It is in this most difficult time (yes, I am talking to myself right now) I continue to remind myself to give thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus (Eph. 5.20) because scripture promises me, I can do all things (beginning with enduring silent and painful nights) through Him who gives me strength (Phil. 4.13). I do not know what I will say to a young widow and three teenage children at a gravesite on Thursday afternoon, except that this tragedy is included in the “all things” of Romans 8.28. God works all things, even horrible things, for the good of His people. Beyond that, there aren’t words.

My final thought (and to all of Tim’s friends), I know the Apostle Paul gives specific instruction for the care of widows. If I say I truly loved Tim, I will continue to love him by never forgetting his family. I know the sacrificial death of God’s own Son proves that God has the ‘whole world in His hands’ and therefore, Tim’s family is in His hands too. I close, with what may be a self indulgent posting with words penned by the psalmist, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints” (Ps. 116.15)

WORK AND PLAY

2010-03-17T12:39:00.003-04:00

Growing up I saw life to be divided up into two simple categories, work and play. Work pretty much entailed those things adults wanted me to do. Work many times included things that I was not interested in or good at. While I was ‘working’ I could get a task accomplished but I certainly was not fulfilled in doing it. Play on the other hand consisted of things I wanted to do. Play ignited my passion. Play made me come alive. Occasionally adults asked me to do things that were fun but for the most part work was, not fun. ‘Little Billy’ thought work and fun were opposites of the same coin. When people get older the adult/child roles shift to teacher/student roles. Similar dynamics remain the same, that is, students are forced-fed information that is of little interest to them. A student can take a class ‘under protest’ and pass it, but there is little to no satisfaction. There are certain subjects however that ignites a young student’s interests and in these subject areas, students excel and they actually have fun. As the years increase the teacher/student roles give way to employer/employee role. Again, similar dynamics remain the same--many, many people find themselves in dead end jobs that do not produce the inner joy of a child at play or the academic stimulation of a student who excels.

I have thought about why people go through life in “work mode” (a sabotaging default button that kills passion) rather than “play mode” (which ignites passion). There are reasons. First, people are creatures of habit. When given the chance to try something new, most people confine themselves to the familiar. People in this category lack a support team that will be there for them when they fall down. Second, people conform to the life scripts that have been imposed on them by others. When this happens, a person is no longer an active and engaging participant of life but rather, only an actor who recites the lines of some nameless and faceless writer. Third, and sadly, some people actually choose something they know is far less than fulfilling.

I will close off “Work and Play” now because I want to use these thoughts as a platform to answer the question, “What are you worth?” in the next couple of postings. In upcoming postings I will do my best to convince you that life is worth a risk. People, jobs, dreams are worth the fight. Hint: people who see worth and value in their lives are willing to venture beyond the familiar; write and deliver their own lines and are willing to risk the future even if they die trying!

ALONE

2010-03-16T10:51:00.006-04:00

R.T. Kendall, in reflecting on aloneness writes, 'There is a difference between being alone and, being lonely. Billy Graham says of the word, alone, "There is one thing everyone will do alone and that one thing is, to die". There are times when we choose to be alone (Jesus did). So as to not be misunderstood, I add, times of intentional aloneness are rare-- humanity is made to be in relationship; humanity is designed to be connected with others. Times of healthy aloneness is always purposeful. And, intentional aloneness is NOT a way to simply sidestep a distasteful reality (this would be avoidance or isolation).

There are also other settings of aloneness. I think of hellish times when I have felt alone when in a room of people (maybe even close friends); while standing in front of a class full of students; counseling someone who is struggling in life. I have felt alone in the midst of tremendous success and certainly failure. It is not uncommon for people to feel alone on the anniversaries of important dates. I hear from single people that the experience of feeling alone (this is going to sound strange), is like a dinner guest who out stays their welcome. I think Christians can experience a level of aloneness that is unique to the believing community. Religious people have the ability to be like Job's 'friends' and empty-headily tell you, "God loves you. Pray. 'All things work for good...'" ...bla, bla, bla...."

Below is a list of ways that people tried to help a man that had fallen into a pit. This man was cut off, alone, without help....

A realist passing by saw the man in the pit and said, “Now that’s a pit”. A woman out for a walk saw the man and thought to herself, “A woman would not have fallen into the pit.” A creationist reminded the man that, “God made pits”. A Presbyterian who heard of the man in the pit declared, “You were predestined for this pit.” An atheist said, “I don’t believe in pits”. An optimist walking by reassured the man that things could have been worse while a pessimist said, “things WILL get worse!” A person filled with self pity yelled down to the man, “You haven’t seen anything until you have seen MY pit!” A co dependent person passing by climbed into the pit so the man would not feel alone. A housing official heard of the the man in the pit and asked him if he had a permit to live in the pit. A geologist encouraged the man to study the beautiful rock strata while in the pit. A psychologist knew that the man fell into the pit because of past childhood issues. An entrepreneur who saw the man in the pit built a booth and sold tickets for people to see the man in the pit and finally, a man walking home from his AA meeting told the man to deal with his pit one day at a time….

Here is my bottom line. Life is short. The experience of being alone is very common so, prepare yourself with a gentle smile, a sincere greeting and a hopeful word. You NEVER know what is behind the pair of eyes you are looking into. Those eyes may be, the eyes of someone who is feeling incredibly and hopelessly alone.

Depression

2010-03-07T17:02:00.009-05:00

For the past several days I have been thinking about a man that I met years ago, but only through the stories that his grandfather and his mother and father told. I am sure he was all of what they said of him, and more. This man changed the oil in cars belonging to widows. He was often the first to arrive at church and the last to leave. I read one headline that called him, "A True Friend of Our Town". People said that throughout his life he struggled with learning disabilities, depression and attention deficit disorder. I am sure he had to work harder at his job because of these challenges than most people ever will. Life became so hard for him that he ended his life last week, leaving a wife who called him, 'the best man I ever knew'.

The newspaper articles carrying the tragic news quoted people saying, "He was beating it." "It came out of the blue". "We don't know what we could have done." Clinical depression is far worse than any feeling than most of us will ever experience. Because of this extremely sad event to me and my family I do not think I will ever use the word, "depressed" again unless my life becomes so unmanageable that I cannot imagine life at all. The next time you feel "out of sorts", "lost" or, as one man confided to me very recently, "I am so very broken", please think, rethink and think again at whatever you believe is the way to get through and out of your uneasiness. The man who described his life to me as broken reminded me of a writing I came across a long time ago and I share it with you,

As children bring their broken toys with tears, for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because He is my friend. But instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone; I hung around and tried to help in ways that were my own. God didn't mend my broken dreams. He didn't make them new. In fact He seemed quite nonchalant, as though He didn't care. Watching and waiting for His hand to do what I had prayed...he did nothing and so I sent Him on His way. But before He left I snatched back my unanswered prayers and asked,"How could you be so slow?" "My child," He lovingly replied,"you never did let go!"

The man with the 'broken life' reminded me that God is the ultimate expert at fixing broken things. God delights in filling empty lives. God listens to the ignored; God reorders the chaos we often create by our own doing; God is a friend to the friendless, God will be the husband to the widowed woman, the father to the fatherless children and the Shepherd of a church who stands in need of a shepherd...I cannot get any of these folks off my heart off my heart tonight, so I pray.

THE DANGER OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS

2010-01-17T14:38:00.013-05:00

I know, sounds like a weird posting...give it a chance. I learned some interesting things about the word assume (or assumptions). Did you know former Vice President Al Gore asked the United States Congress to come up with a better understanding of the word, assume? After much deliberation Congress voted in a definition of the word, assumption, it read: 'to make a premature judgement on a matter without verification or adequate fact finding.' What is crazy is that Congress voted on this definition without doing any research on the word...they just voted! How funny is that? And we wonder why people do not trust elected legislators!!

If you were to do any research on the word assume you would find other words like: to seize, to take up, acquire wrongly, pretend, feign, simulate, put on, take for granted, justify and, falsely or wrongly hold onto. Given these related ideas about assumptions, why would anyone ever assume something about someone or something? After thinking about all of this (after all, I did not want to make any assumptions) I have come to the conclusion that making assumptions is tied in some way to arrogance. To assume something a person might think to themselves, "I know better". Once a person has self declared themselves an expert on any given topic, this person is not open to new information. If this 'entry level' form of arrogance is given any breathing room it will suffocate or choke out any new ideas that come into view. A second reason people make assumptions is because of laziness. People simply do not want to do the hard work of research so they blow off hard work. A third reason people make assumptions is related to laziness, people make hasty assumptions because they are impatient. And finally, people make assumptions because they are not only ignorant, they are comfortable with living in shallow back waters of life (only to drown there). Not doing diligent research (like on a perspective spouse, job or significant purchase) will someday catch up with these types of lazy people and bite them big time on the back side. My bottom line on making assumptions---DON'T MAKE 'EM.

2010

2010-01-01T13:04:00.004-05:00

It is 2010.

Numerically speaking, the number ten is one of four “perfect numbers” (3,7,10,12). The number ten is the start of a new order of numbers in double digits as compared to the previous single digit numbers. Numerologists, people who make entire careers out of studying numbers, tell us the mere presence of “ten” signifies that the previous representation of numbers that went before is now complete, they served their purpose. Thus, could it be that one hidden implication of the number ten or, 2010, speaks of an ensuing divine order of things yet ahead….do I have your interest as you think about your new year?

Biblically speaking, the number ten has some interesting facts related to it. In Genesis we find a listing of ten generations, from Adam to Noah. Noah is the tenth generation of patriarch listed. Noah’s generational distinctives are that of righteousness and promise and deliverance. Realized deliverance and accompanying promises from God always follow a life of righteousness. A partial list of scriptural references to the number ten include: ten commandments (ways to live), a tenth of one’s financial pledge to God (ways to give), the ten “I Am” statements of Jesus in the Gospel of John (Who God truly is) and, the Spirit of God fell upon the disciples ten days after the ascension of Jesus. It was interesting to me that Paul identifies ten challenges that cannot separate a person from God’s love, “I am persuaded that, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers; nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature." (Ro. 8. 38,39).

I offer one final “squared” reference to the number ten before I close. Jesus said in John 10.10, “The enemy comes to steal and kill and destroy but I have come that you would have life and have it abundantly.” Could it be that one interpretation of John 10.10 is that those who read this need to know that 2009 will not come back…your disappointments will not come back and either will your heartaches and even success! Could it be that God wants for us live a life full in 2010 that is altogether radically new?!

Your and my attempts to score a “ten”, to reach perfection, in God’s eyes will always fall short. I also add, if you want to ensure yourself of certain failure try attempting anything on your own. An old Chinese proverb says “Not ONE of us is as smart as ALL of us.” Not one of us attain divine perfection on our own. Therefore, do 2010 with others..lots of others… and you will be surprised at the potential doors of opportunity that will be opened to you.

THE BLAME GAME

2009-08-30T10:55:00.005-04:00

Some of you commented on the last post where I said, "facts create feelings"(a person does NOT like a negative fact about themselves because negative facts about ourselves create negative internal feelings; people are then forced consciously or subconsciously, to rewrite the facts in their minds so negative feelings can be avoided). The following is more to this story.

One common response by people when hearing a negative report (about themselves) is to shift the blame, reason or responsibility for the situation onto someone else. (There are certainly countless other responses). No one wants to hear negative things about themselves but reality is reality. One reality in my life is that NO significant life or behavioral change that I had to make was ever my idea. Life changing decisions I have made came by way of someone saying to me, "Bill, you may not want to hear this but..." When it comes to hearing reality about ourselves the image of a lighthouse might be helpful. A lighthouse (a friend who brings you truth) provides ships (you) with a warning of oncoming peril and, a sure direction to safety. The lighthouse never moves off its foundation and out into the water to warn the oncoming ship. The lighthouse, rooted and founded (on 'The Rock of Truth') sends out a message of peril and direction--it is the responsibility of the oncoming ship to either go its own way (to destruction) or, change course.

When hearing negative things about ourselves it is easy to fall into the 'victim role' (poor, poor me; best known as, whining). Caught up in this emotional state people commonly feel powerless, misunderstood or attacked. People would do well to remember what Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' When I have needed to receive a healthy dose of reality I have been encouraged by Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer that reads, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Bottom line: Resist the blame game and follow Niebuhr's prayer.

Moment of Truth

2009-08-23T17:45:00.005-04:00

I have wondered for some time why people, even when confronted with the truth, continue to do things they know are flat out life or relationship or job threatening. When I have been the one to bring the truth about unhealthy behavior or poor choices to a person the bad news has never been new news to the person. For those of you who avoid conflict hear this, the needful truth you bring to someone living unhealthily has either already been heard before or, the person knows that what they are doing is wrong. People who selfishly live life and recklessly roll the dice with others lives need to remember, there is no right way of doing a wrong thing.

This morning I got new understanding to this emotional and relational and spiritually suicidal behavior. First, no one likes to be corrected or disciplined. Period. Being told, 'what you are doing is wrong' ain't fun. (And we all want fun!!). Second, most of us have at least one blind side in our thinking or behavior that we have no idea exists. Someone has said, 'you do not know what you do not know'. Third, there seems to be an unspoken belief system in many people today that says, "I am above the rules" (Bernie Madoff, lest I say more ..ugh!!). This 'above the rules' mentality is voiced with two common sayings: 1) no one will ever know and, 2) no one is getting hurt by this. These three observations are key to unlocking chronic negatived behavior: attitude towards correction, personal self-awareness and arrogance.

So, here is my understanding of why anyone continues to do what they KNOW they should not do. You might want to think about something in your life right now that you think might be wrong.... First, someone brings THE truth along with substantiating facts to you about something that you should not be doing. Here is a key principle, facts create feelings. Jesus taught, "You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." What Jesus did not say (but I will) is that when anyone of us first hears the ugly truth about ourselves it makes us angry before it sets us free. A dead giveaway that the truth dispenser has hit a nerve with the truth receiver is that the truth receiver often emotionally overreacts, denies, rationally explains (spin) their behavior in great detail or artfully changes the subject. Second, in 'the moment of truth' (confrontation) a person must decide if they are going to change or continue with the "same ol, same ol". Knowing that facts create feelings, the unhealthy person (who does not like the truth) will recreate or reframe the truth in their own mind so that they restore good feelings (which is all about them). Therefore, it is easy for unhealthy people stay in unhealthy behavior because unhealthy people reframe or rewrite their perception of the truth so they can have life, their way. With a changed and faulty perception of reality in place, it is very easy to reengage unhealthy behavior....and the cycle repeats and repeats until there are greater losses that no one can imagine.

Disappontment with Friends

2009-08-02T15:03:00.024-04:00

Recently I was disappointed by a person who I thought I knew fairly well. Acting independently, this person told others of a decision they had made, not taking into account that their independent decision could affect the lives of several dozen people close to them (including me). Upon hearing about this decision I did not act like an invincible super-hero action figure (complete with bobble head). I ranted to Kris but for not as long a time as in my earlier years. I want to offer below some ideas that may be helpful to you when you get disappointed by a trusted friend.

First, when you get hurt by someone you trust do everything possible to avoid falling into the victim role. Victims are often quite sincere about how they see their situation but they are often sincerely wrong. Don't forget, on first hearing, a victim's story can sound quite convincing (only to find out later they are filled with deep fried okra). Additionally, experienced victims tend to feed on a steady diet of self loathing, defeatist thinking, run-a-way negative emotions and isolate from healthy sources of help. The victim role can initially pay great dividends (victims love the attention they get from others and, they do not have to do a thing!). Bottom line on victim oriented living: when disappointed by a friend resist defaulting into the victim role. Second, move beyond disappointment from friends by taking action and personal responsibility for your life (don’t just whine about the event or the person). Know you do have choices and options--they are there! I found that when I took action (and it was a small action) for my situation my hope began to get restored. Granted, when someone has been blindsided, betrayed or deeply disappointed it is hard to get up and dust oneself off. But I am telling you-- take action in your distasteful situation and you will gain a sense of empowerment. A renewed feeling of empowerment will replace previously recorded self pity and personal devaluation tapes but only after.....you take action.

Two other ideas on overcoming disappointment. Jesus once said,‘...why do you look at the speck in your friend’s eye and do not see the log in your own eye…’

My spin on Jesus' words is that when a friend disappoints you you must take a closer look at your life before becoming an expert on someone else’s life. Disappointment, whether on the part of the innocent or the guilty party involves unexplored expectations. The innocent party never thought they would get hurt by the guilty party and the violator never thought their actions would bring pain to their friend. The other idea I offer is from the Apostle Paul, ‘…I do not see through the glass clearly just yet, but someday I will…’ My application of this thought as it relates to any disappointment is that we never see the whole picture or situation, clearly. When caught up in the pain of disappointment it is very hard to slow down, ask for help and, put our emotions on hold. Instead, we speed up, act out and spew our venom on anyone who will listen.

Final comment, the picture attached with this posting is of Cape Disappointment. Cape Disappointment is the oldest functioning lighthouse on the west coast. This lighthouse was erected in the late 1800's to warn sailors of the hideous fog, tremendous undertow and unseen rocks that were the cause of countless sea wrecks and fatalities. See a connection? We all need the light of a Lighthouse that will steer us clear of emotional and relational fatalities. No one can navigate deep disappointment alone. We all need help. We all need light. I know I got help this week and I hope this posting has been a light to you.

ALONE

2009-07-15T20:41:00.005-04:00

This week I have been counseling with numerous people who see themselves as alone...but they not alone. Loneliness and its cousin abandonment are common emotional twins in today's culture. Some people may be physically alone in their homes as I am tonight. However, their fears, their pain, their unaccomplished dreams and emotionally unavailable family members create a devasting loneliness. These out of control thoughts dog them, hunt them, whisper and yell at them. People who suffer this deeply many times have an unresolved or unattended issue that has become one of the loudest skeletons in their emotional closet.

Loneliness is a place where I fall into from time to time myself. Loneliness has nothing to do with the absence of people but rather, loneliness has much more to do with the presence of unresolved issues that crowd into our lives. Times of loneliness come upon us (seemingly out of nowhere). Unresolved issues remind us of things we should have done, ought to have accomplished,the person we could have been or the person we will never be. My own reflective thinking has led me to believe that the loneliness and the frustration that comes from not addressing issues honestly comes from a condemning and confusing spirit that is not of God. Afterall, God wants us to be with Him...with others...in companionship with the very Spirit that cast the bright stars into the blackness of night and called the light good. The Spirit of the living God never asked isolating Thomas, "where have you been?" The Spirit of God in resurrected Jesus did not ask Peter, "You did not deny knowing me, did you?" To Mary, the closest negative thing that God could to say to her was, "Let go of me, Mary.." Mary may have thought in response to this statement, "Let go!..but why? I love you."

God wants people with a 'Mary tendency' to know that there is no way of holding onto the past. Holding onto the past is a certain way to enter into a hellish loneliness. People will isolate like Thomas did; people do live in denial of reality, like Peter did; people do look for the meaning of life in dead places, as Mary did. These are all tragic choices. In our aloneness we must remember that we are not alone...never alone. This posting may be more of a ramble and if so, I am sorry. But again, I am alone tonight. Why did I write?...to cast sounds into the quiet of my house by way of my keyboard? Probably. My bottom line for you is this, if you find yourself on what appears to be the loosing end of something--don't isolate. Further, don't deny the reality that is before you. Enjoy the posted song on my Facebook..I loved it tonight and I hope you do too. GN .

2009-06-27T09:24:00.009-04:00

Wedding Days

It was our wedding day and I remember when
I saw you
You saw through me and--
Nothing could touch me like
your smile, your voice
and given second choice I'd
do it all over again and again.
I need you ~

like a heart needs a beat
like darkness needs the light
like the sand needs the sea
like a man needs his wife.

Its wedding day again and
my daughter walks her aisle.
Flashing smiles
so far from home, no longer alone and
I want her to know that,
I still need her like ~

a dad needs his daughter
a thirsty man needs water
passing years need only a moment
for healing to come, again and again.

Another wedding day is coming when ~
time gives way to eternity
confusion will be silenced by certainty
Light will forever eclipse the darkness and then
and only then.

How do you love?

2009-06-19T09:27:00.009-04:00

I rarely do this but after reading, what you will soon read, I am posting a brief writing by David Ryser which challenges people to consider and possibly rethink how they 'love' Christ and His Church. If James Taylor (one of my 1970's folk heroes) were to read this he might offer his words, "Love is just a word I heard when things were being said." Read on but you had better be sitting down...

A number of years ago, I had the privilege of teaching at a school
of ministry. My students were hungry for God, and I was constantly
searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with
Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. I came across
a quote attributed most often to Rev. Sam Pascoe. It is a short
version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this:

Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise. Some of the students were only 18 or 19 years old--barely out of diapers--and I wanted them to understand and appreciate the import of the last line, so I clarified it by adding, "An enterprise. That's a business." After a few moments Martha, the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. I could not imagine what her question might be. I thought the little vignette was self-explanatory, and that I had performed it brilliantly. Nevertheless, I acknowledged Martha's raised hand, "Yes, Martha." She asked such a simple question, "A business? But isn't the church supposed to be a body?" I could not envision where this line of questioning was going, and the only response I could think of was, "Yes." She continued, "But when a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?"

The room went dead silent. For several seconds no one moved or spoke. We were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were on holy ground. All I could think in those sacred moments was, "Wow, I wish I'd thought of that." I didn't dare express that thought aloud. God had taken over the class. Martha's question changed my life. For six months, I thought about her question at least once every day. "When a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?" There is only one answer to her question. The answer is "Yes." The American Church, tragically, is heavily populated by people who do not love God. How can we love Him? We don't even know Him; and I mean really know Him.

I stand by my statement that most American Christians do not know God--much less love Him. The root of this condition originates in how we came to God. Most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us. We were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. We married Him for His money, and we don't care if He lives or dies as long as we can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God into a business, merchandising His anointing. This should not be. We are commanded to love God, and are called to be the Bride of Christ--that's pretty intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers. How can we love someone we don't even know? And even if we do know someone, is that a guarantee that we truly love them? Are we lovers or prostitutes?

I was pondering Martha's question again one day, and considered the question, "What's the difference between a lover and a prostitute?" I realized that both do many of the same things, but a lover does what she does because she loves. A prostitute pretends to love, but only as long as you pay. Then I asked the question, "What would happen if God stopped paying me?" For the next several months, I allowed God to search me to uncover my motives for loving and serving Him. Was I really a true lover of God? What would happen if He stopped blessing me? What if He never did another thing for me? Would I still love Him? Please understand, I believe in the promises and blessings of God. The issue here is not whether God blesses His children; the issue is the condition of my heart. Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings in my life the gifts of a loving Father, or are they a wage that I have learned or a bribe/payment to love Him? Do I love God without any conditions? It took several months to work through these questions. Even now I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched by my attitude and behavior. I still catch myself being disappointed with God and angry that He has not met some perceived need in my life. I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved,but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God.

So what is it going to be? Which are we, lover or prostitute? There are no prostitutes in heaven, or in the Kingdom of God for that matter, but there are plenty of former prostitutes in both places. Take it from a recovering prostitute when I say there is no substitute or unconditional, intimate relationship with God. And I mean there is no palatable substitute available to us (take another
look at Matthew 7:21-23 sometime). We must choose.

Rescued for a Reason

2009-04-19T09:37:00.012-04:00

I have been thinking about the word rescue and I'll tell you why in just a moment. The word "rescue" (or rescued) is translated from the original Greek or Hebrew word: to be cut free from (some translations include, with severity) a besetting, perplexing or confusing condition; to set at liberty with rejoicing. Additionally, to be rescued carries with it the idea that there is no way out of a situation. The one idea I found most interesting about rescue is that a person is rescued as a "commissioning or a being set a part for" a work yet to be done. Hmmmmm.

You may be able to relate to at least one aspect of rescue. I know I have been rescued from distasteful situations. I also know I been left "holding the bag" and was not rescued and have paid a price for someone else's situation. In scripture we know Paul's friend Aristarcus helped Paul escape a city during a riot. Paul escaped the riot successfully but Aristarcus was identified as Paul's accomplice and Aristarcus did Paul's prison time for him and was eventually released to help Paul later...Aristarcus was rescued for a reason.

I have been interested with the word rescue because of an experience I had this past weekend when I spoke at men's conference in a neighboring state. While at this conference I was drawn to pray for a man. I believe the Lord said to me, "I have rescued him from many dangers, some of which he has no knowledge of...tell him, 'You have been rescued for a reason'. I spoke these words to him. He told me the following about his life, "My mother conceived me out of wedlock. On the day of her scheduled abortion she met a Christian and she gave her life to Christ. She changed her abortion plans. One day, years later, my Mom and I were driving and a drunk driver came bearing down on us. My mother says 'something took over my driving' and she was able to get out of the way of the drunk driver." (I thought, "Wow!").

BUT (big but here), this past week this same man was doing a drug deal and a Christian friend who had been reaching out to him called him and said, "I do not know where you are or what you are doing but you are in danger and you need to get out of the place you are in right away!" He said something 'came over him' and he ran into some nearby woods. By his own testimony within two minutes the house where he had been doing the drug deal was surrounded by police and everyone in the house was busted--except him! He then said to me, "Once in the woods I realized I was not just running from the house but I was running to something but I did not know what it was." He later said, "I think that I was not running to something but to Someone. Truer words have never been spoken.

Many times in life we let pain and our circumstances define who we really are--especially pain (of our own making?) that we want to escape. I want to close by saying to you that you do not need to let your present pain or difficult circumstances define who you are. However, the healthy and godly choices you make while facing difficulty can FOREVER define your future. If you are needing to be rescued right now and you wonder why it is taking God so long....you just may need to remember that your rescue has a reason.

Mountains

2009-04-11T20:44:00.014-04:00

I cannot imagine what Peter and Thomas must have felt like after Jesus was placed in the tomb. These two would-be friends of Jesus had either denied or, isolated from those who could of helped them work through the death and betrayal of their friend. And of course there is Judas...he 'killed' any opportunity he may have had to right himself with God. In just a few hours--in less than a day, their Lord would raise in glory and power. Life would be forever changed! The lyrics from a Barlow Girl and Rebecca St. James song (Forgive me) echoed in my head and my heart and my ears tonight (do not listen to the song unless you want to invite God to deal with issues in your life; it's on our playlist)...

"For all the times I've held you Lord and yet fallen short--
Lord, forgive me now. God I am so in need of grace,
I've fallen from from your face , forgive me now.
I feel the tears fall down my face, forgive me.
Take my fear Lord, take my shame. Lord, forgive me now.
Glorify me and make me new... my calling sure, only you can do.
Forgive me now.

As I heard this song anew tonight Kris and I enjoyed a sunset on our back deck and watched the foothills disappear as they were swallowed up in the colored sky. I was thinking about our foothills. The Bible also speaks of foothills and mountains (26 mountains is all). I mention only four of these mountains to you. Mt. Ararat was a place where fallen humanity and the righteous lineage of Noah would get a fresh start after the flood. EVERYONE, at some time in life, will need a fresh start. Mt. Sinai was a place where God spoke to Moses and outlined ten ways people should live their lives. EVERYONE, at some time, needs guidance or help. The Mount of Olives, a place that Jesus went to often, was a place of prayer and betrayal. No one ever wants to be betrayed but EVERYONE of us needs a place where we can get away to pray.

There is another mountain I am thinking of right now. Jesus said, "I tell you with certainty, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this (YOUR) mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."(Matt, 17. 20). Most of the people I listen to in my counseling office have needed to have a mountain move out of their lives. Your mountain may be a ten pound mountian; a job-sized mountain; a finance-sized mountain; an emotional mountain; a chemical mountain; an intellectual mountian; a health-sized mountain or, a mountain in the form of righting a relationship that has gone bad. Once you climb your mountain (a smart climber never climbs alone) you get a vista view of your future that you cannot imagine!! But I warn you as God warned Lot's wife, do not look back! Do not go back! There is only one thing to do-- journy on and, give witness to the goodness of God--yes, God still moves mountains!!

His Hands, His Way

2009-03-17T18:17:00.003-04:00

In His left hand He holds pain
In His right hand He holds shame

and the blood flows . . . the blood covers
and the beloved knows . . . as the Spirit hovers
genesis out of chaos

This is the way
Walk in it

Milton Road

2009-02-26T15:31:00.004-05:00

out along the dusty road
stones cut the weary feet

drops of blood leave a trail
they leave a tale

are they from striving?
are they for healing?
are they perhaps not even mine,
for You are here

And in the air
BLUE AIR
with angel clouds
trumpeting across the sky

jet stream vapors
appear to be
winging on a course of collision
but, they pass on to the sea

Windchimes~~Windwaves~~Wind of Your Spirit
out along a dusty road

LOVE's Ligature

2009-02-16T10:46:00.008-05:00

Don't ask how I got there, it's just what Holy Spirit does when I ask Him to take me. Between 2 Corinthians 5 & 6 and Random House Dictionary I was all over "ligature".

Ligature is a combining, blending, uniting, tying up, connecting and bonding. You can see it in typesets and graphics, a "slur" in music, a thread in surgery and even a wedding.

For this reason they will be united and become one flesh.

Remain in Me and I will remain in you.

So that they may be one as we are one.

Flesh of my flesh.

I have tattooed a picture of you on the palm of My hand.

He who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

So that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

We are called to be peacemakers, to reconcile and bring healing as LOVE's ligatures. The surgical threads that make good again, repair and restore. The written threads that tie the Truth to hearts, binding us to His promises. The musical threads that bring the sounds of heaven to ears on earth, songs of delight and assurance. The lifelines that declare we are accepted--sin's dispute is settled, we are compatible with our Abba (He even calls us His friends). There is no opposition. There is no condemnation. Only His guarantee of unending love.

Courage

2009-02-07T14:21:00.006-05:00

I don't do this very often but I was so moved by this brief story I pass it onto you. You will be reminded how good we have it. By "good" I mean, you and I usually do not get threatened because of our faith much less put to death for our faith. (Maybe, just maybe, we should not have it as good as we do have it?) The next time you are tempted to start whinning about the economy, a slow checker in the check out line, poor service at a restaurant, too long a sermon, your roomate's inability to pick up after themselves or 'whatever' remember the story of the man below....

In 1980 a young man from Rwanda was forced by his tribe to either renounce Christ or face certain death. He refused to renounce Christ and he was killed on the spot. The night before his execution he wrote the following, which was found in his room:

“I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast, I have stepped over the line, the decision has been made- I’m a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed vision, worldly talking, cheap giving & dwarfed goals.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I won’t give up, shut up, let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up for the cause of Jesus Christ.

I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till everyone knows, work till He stops me and when He comes for me He will have no trouble recognizing me because my banner will have been clear.”

My People ROB Me

2009-01-29T20:54:00.008-05:00

I read today about TIME being a gift from God with limitations, and blessedly so. When times are good, pleasant or even euphoric they are limited. They will come to an end. Do we try to elongate them or just embrace them for the sweetness they are? When our times are painful, maddening, confusing do we try to escape, or lean upon others or the One who is ready to be leaned upon? Hoping (hopefully knowing) they will come to an end.

Take DISAPPOINTMENT. Ugly. Seemingly not a biggy, yet it can drag you dowwwnnnn. When we allow disappointment to overextend it's limitation, it's boundaries, we are robbing ourselves of the time that was purposed for peace or happiness.

But I began to wonder if we are the only one we are robbing when we remain in disappointment, self-condemnation, devaluing ourselves and thinking how we can never do or be ENOUGH.

NO, WE ARE ROBBING GOD, WE ARE LIKE THE father WHO ONLY COMES TO STEAL, KILL AND DESTROY.

It is so hard for us to relax in God's love. To be at rest and rest easy. And in my unease I waste so much of the gracious TIME He has given me. I confess that that is my greatest self-condemnation . . . I waste His time, our time. I hate it. I still do it. But I believe in His transformation work of me. (I'll give Him time).

I also believe in giving yourself (maybe it's actually receiving for yourself) HIS
grace because He has promised to continue His work until the end of time. Picture yourself there . . . how great do you look, because He is a Master artist!

Think of yourself as He does. You are loved and loved and loved and loved and loved

Getting Victory

2009-01-11T14:48:00.015-05:00

I have been reading about giants. Anyone who has gone to Sunday school has heard the story of Kid David vs. Goliath. The after battle commentary on the ESPN of that day would have included the mention of the unlikely placement of one smooth stone to the head of heavily armored Goliath. The article would have also said something about an unprepared boy doing a man's job (David fought Goliath only because his older brothers did not have the wherewithal in them to even try--they only muttered discounting words under their breath like so many cowards do). The afterbattle commentary might have also included the fact that David not only knocked Goliath down and out but also, chopped his head off! The after battle commentary might have also asked the question, "Why did he choose five stones?" Let me tell you....

Goliath had four other brothers. Goliath's brothers were, Isbi-Benob (which means, "Discouragement"), Saph (which means, "Fear") and Lahmi (which means, "Evil Desires"). These three brothers represent three common giants many people face: the giant of discouragement, the giant of fear and, the giant of having evil or wrong desires. There was also a fourth brother. His name is not mentioned but a description of him is--he is described as a giant of a man with six fingers on each hand (2 Sam. 21. 20-21). This fourth brother represents those things in a person's life that have a stranglehold with an unshakable grip. EVERY reader of this post has something in their life that at some time has had a strange stranglehold on them. The Apostle Paul taught, "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". Paul also confessed, "the very things I do not want to do I find myself doing." It is so easy for me to look at Judas, the betrayer of Jesus and say, "I would never do that." But I have to confess, I've betrayed God and others too many times to count. I am humbled beyond words to know and hear and experience his loving forgiveness.

If you want to defeat a behavior, an attitude, overcome a painful secret or a habit of any kind you will need to have a battle plan. You will need to ignore the naysayers in your life (especially those closest to you!). You will need to fight your own fight and use your own equipment (this is not to say you enter this fight alone!). MOST importantly, once you have knocked your giant down (initially) you will need to do what David did--you will need to cut off your giant's head. If your giant is indecisiveness you will need to cut yourself free from indecisiveness by following through on what you said you would do. If your giant is mediocrity you wil need to cut yourself free from hanging out with other 'bottom feeders'. If your giant is ungodly thoughts you will need to get serious enough to ask someone for help. If your giant is unforgiveness you will need to remember that Jesus said, "if you do not forgive others I will not forgive you."

The giants I have mentioned are not uncommon. Scripture says what we experience is not uncommon and that, God will provide a way of escape from our giants. Remember you are not alone. You have resources and, you have the one thing that no one can "pour into" you--you have God's Spirit that whispers, "It's time, it is finally time...together, you and me, we can defeat this thing!" Yes, YOU can!!

IN

2009-01-08T16:48:00.005-05:00

Take me in
Just simply . . . take me in
Draw me close
Take me in
Purely . . .
That's all I want
Into Your heart
Into Your thoughts
Into Your dreams
Into Your laughter
Into belonging
Completely Yours
Take me in
Into the fold . . .
out of the cold
Into swaddling clothes that hold
Your scent
Into the love that You have always meant

to take me in

2009: New Year, No Limits

2009-01-04T19:17:00.006-05:00

HNY! First post for you.
I have been researching the ancient meaning of numbers recently. The number "8" (as in 2008) represents or symbolizes change, beginning or, cleansing. This describes well my '08 in many ways. The number "9" (as in 2009) symbolizes or carries with it the word picture of harvest, fulfillment, empowerment or, a move of God. It is logical to me that for those who seek to join God in 2009 in what God is doing, there will need to be changes made. You might also want to know that the number 10 (2010?) represents judgement--Ouch!

So, how does one change? How do any of us ready ourselves to be used by our great God in this brand new year. In the movie,What About Bob? Bill Murry plays a helpless bumbling maniac who is counseled by a very frustrated Richard Dryfus. Helpless "Bob" finds his life reordered by taking "baby steps". (I love this movie!). This strategy, an intentional one step-at-a-time orientation to decision making is, a very good process when beginning anything new (like a new year). One piece of humorous counsel to the question, "How do you move forward or change?" when one finds themself on the back of a dead horse...what is one to do?! Dismount!! Find another horse. However, some choose to buy a stronger whip or stupidly, reclassify the horse in the category as 'walking impaired' or, harness other live horses to the dead horse so that the dead horse's speed can be increased. The Apostle Paul had practical wisdom to the question, "How do I have a new year, a new anything for that matter?! Paul writes in Philippians 3, [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] and this one last thing I do [it is my one aspiration...forgetting what lies behind (2008) and straining forward (2009) to what lies ahead..."

Kris and I spent time today with several people who did not want to have another 2008 like they just had. Maybe you had a tough 2008? Re-read Paul's words. They speak of determination, increased awareness, single mindedness, power, transformation. I do not know about you but these are all things I want and need--daily. I am really looking forward to this new year on the blog. The Lord has already placed many things in my heart, a heart turned inside out stretching to you. And remember, NEW year, NO limits.............

STEALth

2008-12-12T11:53:00.010-05:00

We would hold our index fingers up as if they were candles, and sing,
"This little light of mine,
I'm gona let it shine . . .
won't let Satan blow it out!"
(and then blow at our finger tips, quenching the supposed flame).

Our pastor says that we don't know that we don't know what we don't know.
I wonder if we can't see what we don't see what we don't see.

If all we have is the light at the end of our own fingers, we just might be in trouble.

In Ephesians today I was nabbed by the Spirit in 4:17-32, subtitled, "Living as Children of Light." If we are not in the light then we are in darkness. Paul says we can be darkened in understanding, a futility of thinking, of ignorance and loss of sensitivity because of the hardening of our hearts (oh, oh, we're back to our hearts again). This blindness continues on to a 'giving over' or surrendering to indulgence, every kind of impurity, with a 'continual' lust for more.

I imagine a stealth bomber. I'm sure guys think these jets are the coolest, but I get the creeps. They are dark, move silently and reflect radar waves that "lie" about their size. The goal is to "STEAL" something of worth and value. A secret mission, it is furtive, clandestine and must be under cover. Our enemy has stealth. Our enemy is out to steal. He is obviously not of the Light, in the Light or for the Light.

"Won't let Satan blow it out . . . . ?" "Did God really say . . . .?" Only scriptural truth can counter the continuous and stealthy stream of ungodly data that enters our thinking. David says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious 'thoughts'. See if there is any offensive way in me." He also understood that "even the darkness will not be dark to You". "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

So Father lead us not into temptation, shine on the steps we are taking right now, expose any stealth, deliver us from the evil one and propel us onward into the plans You have for us.

I Want To Be With You

2008-12-12T11:18:00.011-05:00

In less than a week our whole family will be heading to California for Christmas. This morning I was thinking about what Christmas means to me, this year. The title of today's posting, "I Want To Be With You" is what Christmas means to me, for 2008.

When the Word (the Law; the ministry of the prophets) became flesh (Jn. 1.1f.) God was saying, “I want to be with you.” The idea of friendship and/or companionship is heard throughout Jesus’ ministry on earth. From the outset of his life Jesus was always inviting people to be with him as he was heard to say, “Come, follow me” (Matt. 4.19). This is profoundly an invitation to friendship. Sometimes the invitation to friendship by Jesus was accompanied with a challenge. Jesus said to one would-be seeker, "Go, sell your possessions and give to the poor. You will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." (Matt. 19. 21). To one person who was “up a tree” (literally) Jesus said, “I must stay at your house tonight” (Lk. 19. 1f.). Jesus said to one who was thought to be a very close friend, “Have I been with you for so long, Philip, that you do not know the way to where I am going?” (Jn. 14.9). At the end of Jesus’ life when he needed a friend more than anything else Jesus asked those closest to him, “Could you not stay (up) with me for one hour?” (Matt. 26.35 f.)

At the point of his death on the cross Jesus’ gaze catches his mother’s tear filled eyes. John, the passionate disciple, sees that the love once shared between mother and son is about to ebb away. As Jesus passes from this life to the next the story tells us, “Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ … from that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” (Jn. 19.26). John got it, the importance of fellowship even, extravagant friendship. The incarnation is not just about God becoming one of us in the baby Jesus. The incarnation takes place anytime, we take the time, to step into a person’s life that is in great need. The last book of the bible includes a final example of Jesus’ strong desire to be with us, “If anyone hears my knock and opens the door I will come in and share a meal with them as their friend.” (Rev. 3.20).

My 2008 message of Christmas is that God wants to be with us. Further, God wants us to take time to be with others, too.

Merry Christmas!

You CAN Go to Your Own Funeral

2008-12-10T12:49:00.014-05:00

I have some thoughts about what it means to be “crucified with Christ” (Gal.5.24).

On this subject Oswald Chambers comments, “we must abandon sin, have nothing to do with it. Sin belongs to hell…it is not a question of giving up on sin but rather giving up my right to myself…my self-will…this is where my battle is…” Chambers seems to echo what Paul once wrote, “I have discovered when I want to do right, I inevitably do wrong...this power within me makes me a slave to sin that is still within me” (Ro. 7.21).

On another occasion Chambers writes with even greater clarity as he says, “The entrance to the kingdom of God is through sudden pain--a collision with repentance”. The repentance of which Chambers speaks comes when there is a conviction of sin, of error, of wrong attitude, wrong behavior, things spoken and things heard only by God; things withheld from others and things given to others but only with ulterior motives. It has been my experience that confession without conviction results in short lived promises, selective memories and secretive compromised living. An old proverb states it this way, "A dog goes back to its vomit," and "A sow that has been washed goes back to roll around in the mud." (2 Pt. 2.22). It is the authentic conviction of sin and the corresponding and almost certain breaking of the heart that advances and produces an authentic and conscious repentance. This conviction, this repentance is what it means to be, “crucified with Christ”.

If you think that God may be inviting you to participate in a convicting season of repentance you may wonder, “How will I live, differently? Hear this recent story from Kristen’s life. Five and a half months ago Kris broke a bone in her foot. Following three and a half months in a walking boot, followed by crutches and canes, physical therapy and evening upon evening of foot massages she still lives with pain. Her doctor told her this morning that he is encouraged her progress (No, she did not hit him). As the two of them talked she came up with the understanding that what is needed on her part is patience and, the need to discover a new way of walking. As she told me this accounting of her meeting with the doctor I thought, and so it is with “being crucified with Christ”. We go through a painful experience. We often feel constrained, inconvenienced, slowed down, misunderstood and often, frustrated. We want to get on with life when the crucifying is over (or when the walking boot is removed) but, this getting on with life at our pace is what gets people in trouble in the first place.

Be gently reminded that Jacob, after wrestling with the angel of God in a solitary silhouetted darkness walked away from his wrestling match with God with a limp (Gen. 32). After Jesus’ resurrection Jesus did not walk with a limp but he certainly had the battle scars to show Thomas that he survived crucifixion (Jn. 20.24). And finally, on three different occasions Paul asked God to remove a certain pain in his life but God said, “I will not remove the pain in your life but I will give you the grace to live with it (2 Cor,. 12.8). These three case studies teach us three important lessons about “going to your own funeral”. First, a faithful wrestling with God will result in a “different walk”. You will not want to walk with God as you did, formerly. Second, there will be times in life where one goes through great difficulty and, we will have the scars to prove it. You will live to tell about it!! Third, there are yet other things in our lives that come as the result of wrestling or warfare or whatever and with some of these things God will say, “I will give you, too, the grace to deal with it.”

The Most Unanswered Question

2008-11-29T10:04:00.023-05:00

Kris and I had just finished our workout the day after Thanksgiving when she asked, "What are you thankful for this year?" My list includes some really big things. Her question got me to thinking about today's blog-- 'The Most Unanswered Question'. (Hint for the day: When people are consumed with unanswered questions being thankful is nearly impossible).

The most common unanswered question I know is, "Why?" The question, "Why?" does not come from a minor disappointment. This question usually comes when a person knows they were right, the other person was wrong. The innocent party is left empty-handed or broken- hearted. THESE experiences often leave a person with life's most common unanswered question: "Why?" I have long thought the question, "Why", is a meaningless question. I do not think the word "why" is in God's lexical dictionary. In the majority of instances, the answer to 'why?' seldom offers any significant change to the situation. (As an aside, Kris and I disagree on the value of the question, "Why?" She thinks answers or explanations can be of significant value as an aide toward healing. This difference of opinion may just be a male/female thing). I personally believe the relentless bantering of "why,why, why?" is a mechanism a person uses to regain control in a distasteful experience that has gotten to be out of control. I have counseled disappointed people to not ask "Why?" but instead ask, "What am I to learn from this?"

Kris is just finishing up a book right now (she is always in the midst of three or four that are stacked on her night stand) called, Breaking Free. The author offers some ideas that may be helpful for you in "breaking free" from a hurtful past that has left you asking, "Why?" The author, followering her own brush with past disappoinments and emotional meltdown penned these statements (I call this "reframing" or reinterpreting). Instead of living in a victim role and being ruled by the demon of "why?" be a victor and exchange your quesitons for beliefs. Here we go. Whatever your situation was or currently is could it be that....

1. God knew you would have to seek Him diligently for healing and in your search for healing you would meet The Healer.

2. God knew that because of your healing you would know the power of His resurrection and become a partner in His suffering.

3. God knew that out of your situation you would come to be compassionate with those that have pain similiar to yours.

4. God knew that out of your "victimization" you would become a victor that would champion His cause rather than live a defeated life and whine about your past.

5. God wants you to learn that it is possible to "reframe" the most hurtful of situations and learn that good can come out of bad.

My last word today is God's word,

"Your enemies will cower before you and,
you will trample down their high places." (Deuteronomy 33. 29)

Fellowship of the "suffer-rings"

2008-11-18T09:23:00.005-05:00

Bill and I were led by Brandon Heath's song, "I'm Not Who I Was" in our morning musings today. Life involves change. Change involves loss. Loss involves death of some kind.

I can declare "I'm not who I was" and "I like who I am" but I'm on the road to "who I will be". So am I to expect to journey through more loss or more death? Paul writes about wanting to know Christ and the power of his resurrection (I like that) AND the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings. Whoa . . . that doesn't sound like a club I want to be a part of, let alone paying the "dues"!

Again, I can say "I like who I am, right now" (I'd love to be who I am at present but 10 years younger) but 10 more years from now I will say "I'm not who I was". But it is the development of the fellowship that creates all of this 'becoming'. Change. Loss. Death. Paul proclaimed it his determined purpose to know Christ progressively more deeply and intimately--to perceive, recognize and understand the wonders of His Person. The fellowship creates important works in our life, masterpieces actually.

Praying with someone recently for the severing of soul ties, we sat by their side as they experienced a tearing away, a loss, a death . . . but because of the fellowship, what followed (and is continuing to follow) was a returning to purity, a restoration, a cleansing, freedom to be made new and able to risk love again. It was an experience of the power of the resurrection of Christ. Now that is a club I want to be a part of.

Jesus said, "He who believes in me will live, even though he dies." If you're dying, the resurrection and LIFE are on the way as you choose to fellowship with Him in the midst of it.

. . . and if we can sit by your side, we want to do that.

Shadow Side

2008-11-16T14:16:00.010-05:00

It was over a year ago I started writing blogs. People encouraged me to write and I found, I was encouraged in the process. I met people electronically who I did not even know! (I am amazed what people will tell me electronically and later, over the phone). I took a break for the summer, started teaching again in the fall and I did not return to writing even though some of you wrote and asked, "where are you?" Between my brother's heroic battle with cancer, my dad's failing health, helping people deal with everything from suicide to homosexuality I drifted away from something that at one time meant alot to me. Writing.

The reason for the above paragraph is to place a warning before you. Here is the warning:

It is easy to leave things that we say are of great value and not even realize that we have walked away from them. (that is, until the fires of destruction and loss are burning wildly). On this writing you see a partially exposed moon. One writer has said, "We are all like the moon, we all have a shadow side...a part of ourselves that we have no idea exists." I add, it is the shadow side of all us that sabotages our happiness and robs us of things of great worth. You may have a "developing darkness" in your life (ever so slowly I might add!) as compared to the beauty of a fully illuminated moon. Like the man I talked with yesterday who had every excuse to not move on with life I say to you, "You can have the life that you have only dreamed of but you have got to come into the light!" He cussed me out. His shadow side (that he thought was well hidden) all of a sudden became very exposed.

In less than a month the lights of the Christmas season will be before us, yes I said, "lights." Paul wrote, "whatever you do, do to the glory of God." As this year (semester, students!) closes out you can finish strongly. You can finish in the light. You can get out of the darkness. "How?" is it possible. Ask yourself, "Does what I do, the people I hang out with, the priorities I have, bring glory to God or, bring self satisfaction to me?" I have much more to say but I will save that for my next post...in case you are interested, I will be writing on life's unanswered questions.......

. . . and some seed fell on good soil

2008-09-30T10:08:00.007-04:00

The razor sharp blade poised, then plundered. Digging, dragging, destroying. The dust rose as dirt was turned over and under and over and under. Rocks and roots exhumed, exposed . . . bitterness here . . . a legalistic spirit there. Blood cried out from the ground (yet will I see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living). Muscles straining, sweat staining. The beating and the heating of a heart. Then I stood and looked at the prepared furrow rising straight in front of me. Fresh, loosened, open, fertile, pure, clean, warm and ready. I stepped forward and dropped a seed, set them free . . . seed, let them off the hook . . . seed, ensure their privacy . . . seed, may they not be afraid . . . seed, may they not feel guilty . . . seed, may their dignity and self-esteem be preserved . . . seed, protect them from their greatest fear . . . seed, bless them . . . seed, show favor to them . . . seed, prosper them . . . I walked back slowly, folding the dirt over as I retraced my path. Love covers. Presenting my face to the sun, eyes closed, I felt love covering me and I smile.

The Shifting of Perspective

2008-09-20T12:16:00.011-04:00

I'm questioning the perspective of my pain~~while so aware of the sounds surrounding me. The wind forcing the trees on the hill to speak . . . the cacophony of crows . . . the muted bellow of a train passing through the acres . . . chimes . . . fountain fall-out.

I have prayed (superstitiously): "God, I'm so thankful that I can see." (Because if I don't He may take away my eyesight.)

What kind of perspective is that?

And then the quick prayer in this moment . . . "God, I'm so thankful that I can hear." (Because if I don't He may take away my hearing.)

What kind of perspective is that?

I have many times, over many years, prayed: "Thank you God that I can walk."

Now I can't. Not like I want to. BUT I'm caught up in the blindsidedness of my perspective!

What happened to my heart that it sees and hears so obliquely? To borrow from C.S. Lewis, is it the problem of pain?

I've had pain. I maybe still have pain. I may again have pain. Satan does not tempt us just to make us do wrong things (including skewed hearing and seeing) but to cause us to lose what God has put into us, to lose what we really know deep in our 'good' hearts about our intimacy with our Father. He comes to shift our perspective from Truth.

So I must dive deep. Deep. Deeper still.

And when I rise to the surface, and draw in a new breath, there is a redemption. I know that I know that I know that Jesus loves me. That's His Perspective. A Sovereign Shift.

WELLSPRING ~ YOUR HEART

2008-09-19T15:47:00.014-04:00

Keep (consent to, submit) (tune your ears to)

My Words (My Message)

in ~your heart~ (in the center, the core of your being) (Concentrate! Learn it by ~heart~!)

for they are life (discover and live) . . . (really live)

and

health (body and soul) for the whole body (bursting)

"Above ALL ELSE, guard your heart, (with all vigilance) for it is the wellspring of life." (out of it flows the springs of life) (THAT'S where life starts)

"I've got a river of life flowing out of me, makes the lame to walk and the blind to see. Opens prison doors, sets the captives free. I've got a river of life flowing out of me."

The Faithful Faucet

2008-09-11T07:28:00.018-04:00

Bill was running late this morning, but we still had some of our daily 'read and chat' time. John Eldredge's latest book, Walking With God, fired our jets again. He was talking about sometimes not really wanting to pray about something, because if he hears back from God, then he's left with the choice of obeying that which he hears, even the seemingly small things in the dailies. The little bothers (opportunities). TO BE (faithful) OR NOT TO BE. Sure, we'll shine in the big moments, but Jesus told us to be faithful in the little things. And then we remembered the faucet.

. . . I patted his shiny chrome handle. "You silly water faucet. You're right. I have passed by you a dozen times today and you haven't done anything for me. You haven't turned on once today--that's my business. If I had wanted to wash my hands or take a drink, I would have turned you on. I don't want you turning yourself on--all you will do is waste water and make a mess." I looked faucet straight in the nozzle and said, "Listen to me. Every time I walked by today, I knew you were here. I knew that if I wanted to use you, all I had to do was touch you and you would respond. I don't measure your faithfulness by how much water you dispense in a day. I judge you by your availability. You have been faithful to me today, faucet, because you have been available to me. I'm proud of you."

It's kind of a different picture when we think of streams of living water flowing through us. God does not judge us by the achievements of our hands, but by the purity of our hearts, our ambitions and motives, and just being His.

"You did well in that it was in your heart." II Chronicles 6:8

Mercy

2008-09-03T07:23:00.011-04:00

He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being taught
(my daily briefing . . .Is. 50:4)

Five a.m. and I'm awakened, there's a sound rising before the dawn.
I love the mornings before sunrise (usually), there's a curious, mysterious expectancy to it, and it involves the sounds. The air is warm and in it's density it carries to me the pulse of insects in the grasses, the hum of trucks on the highway, and . . . something else. His mercies are new every morning. It's His voice. It's the sound of mercy.

As I ponder this promise, I sense mercy growing, rising up from the ground (not down from the skies). NEW! and again NEW! for me! for you!

Over a year ago I was given prophetic direction, twice the same word: "Your gifts of grace and mercy are what will be needed for what is to come." A couple of months later I was beginning to understand what Jesus wanted of me. Months later, I knew.

I learned that those gifts, are His gifts. I am created in the image of God, and in that treasure deep inside of me, grace and mercy must rise up and overflow, like a river. But of greater impact is that Jesus would never direct me to be full of grace and mercy toward someone captive to the Dark Kingdom if He was not already determined to be the same. What assurance. What love.

Sounds of mercy become words of life that lift burdens from needy souls. Captives will be taken from warriors, and plunder retrieved from the fierce. "Raise them up, Jesus."

The end of my 'life passage' says,
"To those who feel low you'll say,
"Chin up! Be brave!'
and God will save them.
Yes, even the guilty will escape,
escape through God's grace in your life."

As this day advances, the sounds are changing, but they are new every morning.

BLOW - - SHAKE - - BURN

2008-08-31T13:47:00.012-04:00

WINDSTORMS that shatter rocks, violent EARTHQUAKES and voracious FIRES (kind of reminds me of California) and we radio heavenward, "Houston, we have a problem."
God will use circumstances, relationships or even ourselves to "Blow-Shake-Burn" the dross, moss and even the high-gloss we tend to hold on to instead of Him.
It's a season for me to refocus. To embrace the gift of a broken bone. Brokenness holds a whole new meaning.
Like Elijah, had I crawled into a cave and fallen asleep? Perhaps. And then, snap . . . a new and confining world of dependence, my wings clipped!
Do you ever wonder why God chooses gentle whispers and still small voices? I think it's so we have to practice hearing Him.
I don't have to practice hearing Bill. He doesn't know what lower decibels are. (Try watching a USC football game with him.) But I do have to practice hearing my Shepherd, who has promised that I do hear His voice.
I'm so impressed, and encouraged, that after the tremendous sounds that rocked across the mouth of Elijah's cave, he was practiced enough to hear God's whisper even when he was still in the throes of his pity-party.
The thunderous God of the universe lives within me, but He loves to whisper. He loves to whisper His thoughts, His ways, His dreams and secret things.
I know if He needs to blow, shake, burn, cut or BREAK, then He will. But maybe if I come out of my cave, into the glorious light, and practice, practice, practice . . . a gentle whisper will be all it takes and I'll be running again.

Ordinary Champions

2008-08-20T19:00:00.014-04:00

Summer 2008 will be remembered for a number of things. Summer '08 will be remembered as the summer when The Dark Knight (staring the late Heath Ledger in a 'dark' personification of the Joker) shattered most major motion picture box office records; entertainers Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes (dubbed the Father of Soul) and comedian George Carlin die; the Chicago Cubs remained in first place since (when?); presidential debates/conversations between Barack Obama and John McCain begin in an informal setting with the interviewer being....no, not Larry King or Wolfe Blitzer but by Pastor Rick Warren. Summer '08 will be most remembered by the Beijing Olympics with poster athlete, Michael Phelps taking center stage.

I do not want to make a god out of Michael Phelps but rather, I want to identify one important step that every "ordinary champion" will take. The important step I refer to is, honesty. Hang in there with me! Recently I read a quote from Admiral Bull Halsey, Commander of the Pacific Fleet during World War II, who said, "There aren't any great men. There are just great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to face and meet." When people talk about champions (like Phelps or Halsey), many of us think of extraordinary accomplishment, tremendous cost or unpredictable and unprecedented success. I want to present a very different step or a decision that champions take. The first step towards becoming an "ordinary champion" is to resist the temptation to be what everybody else wants you to be. Writer May Sarton penned these words,

"I have become myself.

It's taken time, many years and places.

I have been dissolved and shaken,

worn other people's faces..."

My heart resonates deeply with Sarton's words. I have spent too much of my life being what others wanted me to be. Being and saying what pleases others often was my calling card. When anyone lowers themselves to this level of living they are not an "ordinary champion" even though they are pleasing everyone around them. This person, this "people pleaser", is a coward and NOT an ordinary champion. I was interviewed one time by a group of people. Some of the interviewers wanted me to give a stock answer to a particular question. Getting the job could have rested upon my people-pleasing response to their question. By that time in my life I had grown in enough confidence in myself to "tell the truth"--I told them my honest beliefs in response to the question. After the interview one of the people doing the interview came up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me for being honest enough for holding to my position rather than telling the group what they wanted to hear. (By the way, I got the job!)

In case you've missed it, being an "ordinary champion" begins with you, being you! Fredrick Buechner wrote, "a person's great happiness (and perhaps great accomplishment) occurs when the person's greatest skill or ability comes face to face with the world's great need". If you are not about being you and seeking the passion and the drive that God has placed within you...you will not even "place" in the olympic competition of your life.

Down to the Ground

2008-08-08T09:56:00.005-04:00

Underneathe

(the shadow of)

his skin and flesh

was my rest

(his justice)

wrested for me

He wrestled

what I could not see

he wrestled

all I could not be

they pinned him down

down to the ground

not aware

not a care

and I was underneathe

not knowing how safe in the shadow

I really was

because . . .

I heard the shouts

smelled the blood

felt the darkness

saw the flashes

(yet)

Underneathe . . .

his skin and flesh

was my rest

he wrested for me

2008-08-01T12:29:00.007-04:00

Traveled to California on two separate occassions this summer to be with family and friends and of course, the beach. Little would I know that in a short period of time sad news would reach our family. Cancer--a word that has universal meaning.

My eyes turned to Jeremiah 8 this afternoon: "I drown in grief. I am heartsick...Is God no longer in Zion?..the crops are in, the summer is over, nothing has changed, we're still waiting to be rescued. I'm heartbroken, seized by grief. Is there no healing ointments?" (Jer. 8.1-22). As our summer draws to a close I can relate to Jeremiah's question, 'where is the healing?' There was a time in Jesus' life when two sisters asked the same question regarding their brother's failing health, that would result in death. Up until the resurrection of Lazerous, Jesus had "healed" many but had not raised anyone from the dead. My point, sometimes a mere miracle (and I do not mean to be discount miracles) is not enough to get some peoples attention-there are times when people need a "resurrection" to discover the fullness of God.

My brother, when hearing about his health challenges said to me, "I have gone through much of my life thinking I was doing life alone. I guess it has taken this for me to learn that maybe I have never been alone". Even as I write this our family waits on cat scans, doctor's reports and a surgeon's battle plan on how to proceed. When any of us reach a place like this in our lives it is way too late to learn how to pray. When pain crowds in, and life's circumstances crowd your best plans out, you must have have spent sometime with the Father in order to hear His voice. (As an aside,yesterday Kristen had a freak fall and broke a bone in her foot!). In times like the one I find myself in today I so relate to C.S. Lewis when he wrote upon processing the loss of his own wife, "God speaks to us in our joys but yells at us in our sorrow. Grief is God's megaphone to a deaf world." This writing breaks my summer silence on the blog. Welcome back readers. Please pray for my brother Bob and, Kristen's quick recovery...she promises me that we will go dancing!! (Just kidding).