Choices: Come Out From Your Shadows

Several weeks ago, it may be months now, I was in a meeting with a group of men. The leader, Jim, shared clearly and personally as to why it is hard for most men to make good and brave choices. The choices I am talking about are choices with no hidden agendas or self protecting strategies. Jim is so real, so honest...I hope I can be like Jim someday.

You must know, I have given dozens of these types of talks in churches, retreats and at the university where I teach. A significant portion of my doctorate explored why men "blow up" or self destruct--it does not take getting to middle age anymore to unravel. Jim showed the video clip that is attaached (above) to this posting. The clip comes from the movie, Legend of Bagger Vance. Matt Daman plays a young golfer who has "unresolved issues". Will Smith plays a caddy but symbolically is, "the God voice" in Damon's mind. Damon's issues hunt him down, surprise him and do not let him go. Damon's past keeps him from becoming the golfer and the person that he is capable of becoming and, such is the case for many of us. In the clip, Damon contemplates how he is to play out of the woods that he has "hit" himself into. Have you ever "hit yourself into a fix" that you thought, "There's no way out of this!" The young golfer is heard saying, "I can't do it...don't know how". Will Smith, ("the God voice") gently but firmly encourages with words any of us would love to hear, "you are not alone, loosen your grip, be still, very still...come out of the shadows....play the game that only you were meant to play.....don't hold back......now is the time".

Every one of us has choices to make and many of these choices are invitations for us to "come out of the shadows". Shadows that in actuality are false ways of living and feeling and being. Shadows that are truly an outward lifestyle that is a direct disconnect from a person's inward chaos. The truth is this, only YOU can make the choices you need to make. Each of us, as golfers say (and no, I am not a golfer), need to "play through" the hazards of life. Final comment, Tiger Woods was once asked how he was able to get out of some of the golfing problems he occasionally gets himself into. He answered by saying, "My dad taught me to never look at the obstacle, look past the obstacle, look to the opening." My invitation to you today is this, "Would you make that choice you know you have needed to make?" I encourage you to not look at the obstacles in your life but rather, consider the opportunities. To become a decision maker you must loosen the controlling grip that you may have on your life, listen to your inner counsel, do not hold back...play the game of your life that you were meant to play. And know this, decision makers become history makers.