ALONE

R.T. Kendall, in reflecting on aloneness writes, 'There is a difference between being alone and, being lonely. Billy Graham says of the word, alone, "There is one thing everyone will do alone and that one thing is, to die". There are times when we choose to be alone (Jesus did). So as to not be misunderstood, I add, times of intentional aloneness are rare-- humanity is made to be in relationship; humanity is designed to be connected with others. Times of healthy aloneness is always purposeful. And, intentional aloneness is NOT a way to simply sidestep a distasteful reality (this would be avoidance or isolation).

There are also other settings of aloneness. I think of hellish times when I have felt alone when in a room of people (maybe even close friends); while standing in front of a class full of students; counseling someone who is struggling in life. I have felt alone in the midst of tremendous success and certainly failure. It is not uncommon for people to feel alone on the anniversaries of important dates. I hear from single people that the experience of feeling alone (this is going to sound strange), is like a dinner guest who out stays their welcome. I think Christians can experience a level of aloneness that is unique to the believing community. Religious people have the ability to be like Job's 'friends' and empty-headily tell you, "God loves you. Pray. 'All things work for good...'" ...bla, bla, bla...."

Below is a list of ways that people tried to help a man that had fallen into a pit. This man was cut off, alone, without help....

A realist passing by saw the man in the pit and said, “Now that’s a pit”. A woman out for a walk saw the man and thought to herself, “A woman would not have fallen into the pit.” A creationist reminded the man that, “God made pits”. A Presbyterian who heard of the man in the pit declared, “You were predestined for this pit.” An atheist said, “I don’t believe in pits”. An optimist walking by reassured the man that things could have been worse while a pessimist said, “things WILL get worse!” A person filled with self pity yelled down to the man, “You haven’t seen anything until you have seen MY pit!” A co dependent person passing by climbed into the pit so the man would not feel alone. A housing official heard of the the man in the pit and asked him if he had a permit to live in the pit. A geologist encouraged the man to study the beautiful rock strata while in the pit. A psychologist knew that the man fell into the pit because of past childhood issues. An entrepreneur who saw the man in the pit built a booth and sold tickets for people to see the man in the pit and finally, a man walking home from his AA meeting told the man to deal with his pit one day at a time….

Here is my bottom line. Life is short. The experience of being alone is very common so, prepare yourself with a gentle smile, a sincere greeting and a hopeful word. You NEVER know what is behind the pair of eyes you are looking into. Those eyes may be, the eyes of someone who is feeling incredibly and hopelessly alone.