“How would you like to go out for dinner” means, “Are we having that, again?”
“In a minute” means, A preposterous exaggeration.
“What’s wrong?” means, “Why are you making such a big deal about this?”
“It’s a guy thing” means, “I have absolutely no idea why I am doing what I am doing”.
“You’ve been working too hard, come over here and relax” means, “Turn off the vacuum until the next commercial break”.
“I can’t find…” means, “Where did you put my ……?!”
“I heard you the first time” means, “I have no idea what you just said.”
“It would take too long to explain” means, “I hope I come up with a good reason why I did what I just did.”
“Let me check my schedule” means, “I hope something else better surfaces”.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” Actually means, “It’s you!”
“You look great” means, “If we don’t leave now we will be late”.
“I’ve got something to tell you” means, “I’ve done something really stupid, brace yourself”.
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